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Today, Meet Karin! She is Founder and CEO of Fertility Planit (For people worldwide seeking to get pregnant and start a family.) Fertility Planit is also on Fa.ce.bo.ok and Tw.it.ter!) I encourage you to check out this growing social network where you can create a profile, share and search opinions on fertility products and connect with others. Read on for Karin’s incredible story and more about this great resource below!

1. How long did you struggle through infertility? I’m 39 now, an American living and working in the UK, and 18 weeks pregnant via known donor.

I first discovered I had fertility issues about 3 years ago when my then partner and I got pregnant. I was 36, and at 12 weeks we had a Nucchal scan and blood test, and my ratio was not great, it was about 1:89 chance that I might have a Downs pregnancy. I was advised to have a CVS scan, which is an uncomfortable test that is diagnostic as it samples the placenta. So I had one at about 14 weeks. Even though I felt sure the fetus was healthy and fine, it turned out she wasn’t. The call came about 3 days after the CVS scan and I was told that the fetus had Downs Syndrome (trisomy 21).  We elected to terminate the pregnancy upon hearing this news, and had a “medical termination,” which is apparently not a D&C or a D&E — in the UK it’s where the woman takes a pill and passes the pregnancy naturally, meaning she goes through labour and gives birth to a dead fetus. It is painful and emotionally draining. Over the next few days, more bits and pieces will pass too. The whole process was utterly traumatizing, and it took me about 6 months to be able to even talk about it.

2. What did you go through (as far as treatments, different doctors, adoptions agencies, etc.)?

So after the Downs Syndrome diagnosis and then the subsequent termination, my partner and I broke up. With my strong desire to become a mother and start a family, I went on a roller coaster ride of fertility treatments, discouraging diagnoses, blood tests, IVF, IUI — across the UK, the USA and Denmark. I took out loans and spent much of my savings on undergoing treatments, taking fertility drugs, and experiencing “fertility tourism” with treatments in Denmark, the UK and the USA. This meant spending almost all of my free time doing research, planning travel in different time zones, following up on medical paperwork and permissions being fax’d back and forth.

None of my considerable investment of time, money or personal energy lead to any positive results — each of my treatments failed. During the course of my 3 years of TTC I had a reconciliation with my former partner, and we got pregnant again — only to have a  miscarriage at 8 weeks.

Having reached the very end of my fertility treatment budget in the summer of 2010, I was single, not pregnant and despondent. I visited my friend in Berlin in July 2010 for my 39th birthday, and he generously offered, on the spot, to be my sperm donor. It just so happened that I was ovulating! I was stunned when 2 weeks later I felt exhausted and nauseous and took the test and lo and behold: ++++ results. I still view this as a miracle.

3. How did you handle disappointments through your cycles (natural and otherwise) or months of waiting?

While I was of course deeply disappointed each time the treatments did not work (2 x IVF and 4 x IUI and 2 failed pregnancies). I felt that I did not have the luxury of time to sit and grieve or ponder my disappointment for too long. What I felt was most important in my late 30s, was to give my quest everything I had with the fertility that was still left in me — I continued to save money, to reserve all of my holiday time from work, to juggle my stressful and demanding work schedule as a journalist with tests and trips overseas for more tests and consultations.

Over the course of these 3 years of seeking affordable treatments and finding a way to be treated as a single woman in Europe (believe it or not, lots of clinics across Europe elect to not treat single women) and balancing a full time job at the BBC with taking time off, and flying to other countries for treatments — I felt rather isolated. And frustrated! None of my friends in my small city in England could relate to what I was going through — they all tried to be supportive, as did my friends and family back in the USA, but no one was there who actually went through these experiences themselves.

I so wished for one easy to use, convenient, efficient, modern, international website for all of my fertility needs. I wanted to be able to log on with an anonymous screen name (if I felt like it), search by location or keyword for finding unbiased User reviews and submit my own reviews for fertility products and services I’ve tried and liked or hated — I wanted to do the same thing for  connecting with like minded friends, shopping for products, and see Ads for services/products that were specific to a region, and not ages away in some other part of the world.   

After much tossing and turning, I decided to create the site that I couldn’t find. It’s called Fertility Planit and we’ve just launched. Essentially, it’s a Fa.ce.bo.ok/Y.elp for the worldwide fertility community — members can sign in with a free, personal profile (using an anonymous screen name, if desired), or business profile, share views and reviews, connect with like minded friends, shop, advertise their services using self-serve advertising, all in one place. 

I found that channeling my frustration and isolation into a creative project — that would help and benefit me as well as the whole, global fertility community — was a fantastic, satisfying process and gave me something tangible, creative, productive and meaningful to work on during my quest to get pregnant. It helped me to take my considerable disappointment and negative energy and transform that into a positive life force which would give birth to a valuable resource to  help a worldwide community, if not produce a baby itself. I didn’t ever want another woman to be sitting by herself, overseas, alone, feeling isolated and alone in her quest to start a family.

Because I was able to transform my negative energy into positive energy — and shift my focus from my own worries and what was going wrong with me, to helping others — I’m convinced this shift in energy and focus had a profound effect on bringing my mind-body-spirit relationship into a healthy balance again. I found myself getting to a place where I’d be ok with whatever the outcome was of my efforts — that I knew I’d be fine and lead a good life either way.

4.  What were the ‘stress-free’ techniques that you tried that helped you get through the cycle or time (yoga, meditation, acupuncture, support through family, friends & on-line, etc.)?

I certainly read everything I could get my hands on — I changed my lifestyle and nutritional regimen to include as much organic produce as possible, I began cooking all of my own meals, making sure I adopted regular sleeping patterns, I started drinking much more water, getting much more exercise, I decided to give up alcohol consumption and caffeine, and tried to cut out as much sugar, refined carbohydrates and processed foods as possible. The book “The Fertility Diet” by British author Sarah Dobbyn became my go to book for information, support and ideas on how to optimize my fertility naturally.

I also started practicing meditation and more yoga, with the aim of putting myself into balance with mind-body-spirit synchronicity.

5. If you could give advice for couples going through infertility now, what would it be?

Reading Opinions about all manner of fertility services helps our community learn and make informed decisions. I sure wish I could have found more unbiased User reviews when I was looking for the right clinic — thankfully I got pretty lucky and had a positive experience, even though I didn’t get pregnant that way in the end.

My number one tip for coping with fertility issues would be: don’t isolate yourself. Reach out! Share views and reviews! Find and offer support!

 Social networks are an excellent way to find and offer support, learn from others’ experiences, and gain validation for your own journey from like minded people who truly understand.

 Fertility Planit is there for people worldwide who are seeking to get pregnant and start a family — to offer them a supportive, safe environment in which to process their fertility journey. Members may sign up with a free, anonymous profile, if they wish, to preserve privacy — and yet this still allows total openness and honesty.

 Thanks so much Karin for not only your story but the work you do with your website!

Go check out Fertility Planit!