So since my blogaversary is coming up this week, I thought I’d share my own success story! I know I already have it here, but I never shared it with the interview style and always wanted to, so here we go! (With updated ages!)
1. How long did you struggle through infertility?My husband Rob and I struggled through a year and a half of infertility until we got pregnant with our daughter Ella. And when we started trying again, it took us a year until we got pregnant with our twins.
2. What did you go through (as far as treatments, different doctors, adoptions agencies, etc.)?
We tried 8 unsuccessful natural cycles and my periods started getting very irregular. I went to my OB and she started doing some initial tests and mentioned Clomid. But after we got Rob’s sperm analysis back, she recommended we go see a urologist. He did more tests there and then we were referred to a Reproductive Endocronologist. We were told IVF was our best and only shot of getting pregnant. So we started the process with extreme trepidation, not knowing what to expect at all. We got 7 fertilized embryos, with only 2 of great quality. We transferred both on day 3 and hoped for the best but our first cycle was negative. We tried again with the only 2 frozen we had and I ended up having a chemical pregnancy (a 9.5 positive the first test and then negative the second.)
We started on a 3rd cycle (fresh this time) and my mom got very sick. She passed away right before I started stimming and I’ve never been the same since. I kept going with the cycle, knowing my mother who was my biggest supporter would have wanted me to. This time, we did acupuncture, I ate organically and took some supplements to help cleanse my body. We got another 7 to fertilize but this time all went to blast. We only had 2 that made it to day 5, so we transferred them. And we got pregnant with our daughter Ella. She is now 4 1/2 and is the most amazing little person!
We started trying naturally again when Ella was 9 months old, hoping that it could happen again without intervention. Six months later, we resorted back to IVF with a different doctor (because we had moved) and this time, we got 11 fertilized embryos, we put in 2 on day 3 and we had 9 to freeze. We unexpectedly experienced our 2nd chemical pregnancy (with an HCG of 64 and then the number never doubled). Just as I was miscarrying, my twin sister found out she was pregnant with her 2nd child and he was due right around the time I would have been due. This was the 2nd time she got pregnant on the first try and while I was ecstatic for her, emotionally, I was distraught.
We did another frozen immediately after that cycle and transferred 3 embryos trying to increase our chances. None of them took, we had another negative test. We were devastated and decided to take a break to get through the holidays. In January of ’09, we did another frozen cycle, transferred 3 embryos again, and found out we were pregnant with twins, possibly triplets! The third stopped growing and our twins are nearly 2 years old! They have made wonderful additions to our family! We feel so blessed every day!
3. How did you handle disappointments through your cycles (natural and otherwise) or months of waiting?
It was really, really difficult. I cried. Alot. I tried to vent to my family and friends, but they never really got it. They really didn’t understand what I was going through and I started to realize that most people don’t unless they are going through it. The message boards I went to were my saving grace. It was my life line. So many women were so supportive and thoughtful. I felt understood. There was true empathy permeating through my computer screen. Now, I wish I had started a blog but I never did until a year ago. I decided to start this blog as a way to help others going through it.
4. What were the ‘stress-free’ techniques that you tried that helped you get through the cycle or time?
Going on the message boards was definitely a stress reliever. I also tried acupuncture when I started my 3rd cycle. That accompanied with organic food and supplements (like CoQ10) helped me sleep better and feel better overall. I also did a meditation CD during that cycle and I really believed it helped a lot.
5. If you could give advice for couples going through infertility now, what would it be?
~Don’t ever look at yourself as a failure. It’s not your fault that infertility has affected your life (not matter who’s factor it is). You may not know it now, but you will be a stronger person because of it. Become empowered by it instead of feeling powerless.
~Take charge of what little control you have in the situation. Do acupuncture, eat organically, sleep as much as you can, and go that extra mile to relieve as much stress as possible.
~ Ignore ignorant comments. Most people just don’t understand what it’s like so they may say something insensitive and mean no harm by it. If the comments come from close family and friends, educate them and open them up to your experiences. They may surprise you and be more supportive than you think. And vent whenever you have to with those who will listen wholeheartedly without unsolicited advice.
~Be your own advocate. If any part of the process confuses you, your doctor/nurse/case worker says or does something you don’t agree with, or you feel strongly about a procedure or option you want or don’t want to take, SPEAK UP!
~ Love yourself and your partner and make time for yourself and him/her. You are going through it together and should never underestimate or be presumptuous of one another’s feelings. Never forget that you were a couple before you started procreating, appreciate one another and be supportive.
My three miracles 12/10
Here are some more posts on counting down 10 ways to enjoy the holidays (recycled from last year)!
Whether it be “It’s a Wonderful Life,” “A Christmas Story” or any of the wealth of movies that have become a traditional part of this holiday, watching them always takes you back…to a simpler time perhaps. And it would be great to revisit the movies you used to watch before. Before your life turned upside down with medical bills, visits to OB’s or Reproductive Endocrinologists, and medicines you never imagined you’d inject. Your holiday does not have to be clouded with these annoyances. Instead, cuddle up with your loved one, some egg-nog or hot cocoa and take yourself back to the magic of Christmas, and allow yourself to enjoy this special holiday that only comes once a year.
