Meet Carrie, my newest success story! She experienced a devastating loss but stayed strong and kept trying. Read on for her touching story.
1. How long did you struggle through infertility?
About 2 years
2. What did you go through (as far as treatments, different doctors, adoptions agencies, etc.)?
I first found out I was pregnant on June 6, 2009. It was a very unexpected pregnancy. The usual turmoil of emotions followed, between shock, fear, and uncertainty. It took my now husband and I a few days to wrap our heads around the idea, but once the initial shock wore off, we became excited.
At my first dating ultrasound, seeing that little baby on the screen made any doubts just melt away. We were in love with this darling child already.
Everything progressed normally – and on August 15, 2008 (my husbands birthday), we found out we were having a little girl.
On the morning of Sept 22, 2008, I awoke to find blood on my bed sheets. Not a lot of it, but enough to be a concern. At 6:45 that morning, we left for the Emergency room.
At almost 6 months pregnant, the nurses rushed me in and immediately hooked me up to an ultrasound machine. The only heartbeat they could find was incredibly weak. The two nurses shared a knowing look with each other and went to fetch the doctor.
The doctor arrived and told us that there was nothing they could do to save her. I would be admitted to labour and delivery. “Expect that your child will be stillborn” she said.
At 1:49pm on September 22, 2008, our beautiful daughter, Annaliese, was born sleeping.
The cause of my loss was determined to be premature rupture of the membranes, followed by an infection. The Dr cleared us to start trying again after 3 cycles. Not so bad, right? 3 cycles = 3 months – except my cycles had never been anywhere close to regular.
After 5 months and only 2 cycles, I went to the Dr again. I was given the first of many, many prometrium prescriptions to induce my period. From various blood tests, it was determined that I was having anovulatory cycles.
In December of 2009, I managed to beg and plead my way into the fertility clinic. The Dr asked a million questions and sent the two of us for a lot of tests. I was sent for an HSG later that month. The HSG resulted in me finding out that my left tube was blocked.
A pelvic ultrasound also revealed multiple, tiny cysts on my ovaries, commonly known as Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).
The Dr suggested trying a drug called clomid which would induce ovulation. Typically only 3 cycles are recommended, so we would try 3 cycles and see what happened. After an early miscarriage on cycle 2 of clomid, we were finally blessed with a sticky pregnancy on my third and final round of clomid. It was a difficult pregnancy with severe gestational diabetes, but my little miracle, James Frederick, was born via C-Section on May 2, 2011.
3. How did you handle disappointments through your cycles (natural and otherwise) or months of waiting? and 4. What were the ‘stress-free’ techniques that you tried that helped you get through the cycle or time?
The stress of losing our daughter nearly ruined me. I would stay up almost all of the night, I turned into a very angry, bitter person. I was completely irrational, and spent a lot of time crying. This carried on for almost a year. In July of 2009, I stumbled across an Internet message board of ladies who were trying to conceive after a loss. It was so relieving to find other women who had been through what I had been through. I was able to pour my heart out to them, and they understood. Those ladies helped me come out of my darkness and I will be forever grateful for that.
The ladies that I met during my losses and infertility are some of the most wonderful women I have ever met. There’s a group of about 40 of us who are still in touch daily. Most of us have been blessed with children over the past year, and there are some who are still struggling, and a couple who have been told they are unable to have children at all. We’re like family, and any one of us would do anything for the others.
5. If you could give advice for couples going through infertility now, what would it be?
If I could give advice to anyone going through infertility or loss, the one thing I would recommend is to find someone to talk to. If you’re anything like me, the stress, and emotions could eat you alive if you kept them bottled away. Talk to your husbands. Find a support group with women who are going through similar issues. Sometimes just knowing that you’re not alone is more than helpful.
Thank you so much Carrie! Enjoy your first holiday with your adorable son!
Fran Meadows is the author of The Truth Behind The Secret “Infertility.” I had the pleasure of meeting her on Resolve’s Advocacy Day on April 25th in Washington D.C. (You can read more about her day here). She had an amazing, but difficult infertility journey that has turned into a success story (which I featured here).
