The giveaway winner of my book Ordinary Miracles (through a random drawing) is Emily from A Blanket to Keep! Congratulations Emily! I hope you love reading my book! Enjoy! 
memoir
Giveaway Winner!
Don’t Ignore The Power You Have to Influence Our Government!
So, on Wednesday, at the crack of dawn, I took a plane to Washington D.C. to attend Advocacy Day, brimming with excitement the entire flight to be a part of the day! I have always talked about how the government should get more involved with our plights, I even wrote about it in my memoir. Advocacy Day was my chance to actually get involved, walk the massive halls of our congressmen and speak to the people who help make change happen on Capital Hill.
When I came into the room, I was immediately in awe of how many people came, all for one purpose, all for one passion. However infertility effected each person, we were all on a mission. Perhaps we were speaking for ourselves, speaking for a family member, or for the entire community of 7.3 million who can’t afford IVF treatments or adoptions. We were brave, bold, and ready to get more support on the Family Act and the Adoption Tax Credit. I even had the pleasure of meeting infertility advocate Keiko Zoll who writes The Infertility Voice and Fran Meadows, author of The Truth Behind The Secret “Infertility.”
I met with my NY crew (joined by the amazing Risa Levine) where we discussed our meetings. Then, we walked to the Senate buildings to talk with the staff at Chuck Schumer’s office. I was proud of each and every one of us in that room. We spoke up and made sure she knew why infertility should not be ignored. Later, accompanied by Shelly Galvin, from Attain Fertility, we walked across the path in front of the Capital Building and headed to the buildings for our meetings with our NY congressmen. Some, we didn’t have a meeting with, but we made sure to stop at each office we were assigned and give them critical information on each bill.
Later, we met with a staffer at Kirsten Gillibrand’s office. On behalf of the group, and the entire infertility community, I thanked her for her sponsorship on the Family Act (an amazing piece of legislation that will help pay out of pocket expenses for IVF for those who really need it). We talked with her to find out what else we can do to get support. One of her answers: Write letters! And finally, I gave her a copy of my book to give to Senator Gillibrand as a special thank you with the hope that she will continue to be empowered by those effected with infertility.
Overall, it was an amazing day filled with pride to be an infertility advocate and an American. My only regret was not wearing shoes that were more broken in. There was so much walking, I actually had blisters on my feet at the end of the day. But it doesn’t compare to the blisters on many hearts that can’t afford infertility treatments or adoptions. So, I was out there for all of you. I was your voice. But now, you can make your own voice heard by calling and writing letters to your Senators and Representatives. Go to Resolve’s Activist Toolkit to learn more! One staff person told us there are over 4,000 bills and many aren’t even sponsored unless they hear from those who really care about it. So, do your part! Don’t ignore the power you have to make change!
Don’t Ignore Infertility in the Media!
If you watch a lot of movies and TV like I do, you’ve probably realized how little infertility is represented. It’s basically ignored by most mainstream movies and television programs. And, if it is presented, it’s usually glossed over, or portrayed in a stereotypical, comical, or satirical way. Let’s analyze a few movies shall we?
Juno was a movie that was quite funny and quirky. It gave a glimpse of what infertility was like through Jennifer Garner’s character. My heart ached when she looked at Ellen Page longingly and wanted to touch her pregnant belly to feel the baby move (something she knew she’d never be able to experience). However, infertility was not the main theme of the movie. Likewise, in Facing the Giants, infertility was presented but the plot was based around the football team. And do we even have to talk about Baby Mama? Although a painful reality that Tina Fey’s character faced, the entire surrogacy was a comical fluke. And, stereotypically at the end, Tina Fey gets pregnant anyway on her own.
In T.V., some shows are airing infertility story-lines like Desperate Housewives, Brothers and Sisters, and Private Practice (surprisingly all ABC shows). But even on these shows, there’s a lot of unnecessary drama and still some stereotypes that need to change or the general public will continue to believe in these myths. (Check out the post I wrote here about the show Brothers and Sisters last year.)
Well, it got me thinking about how the 7.3 million people in this country (who are suffering to have a baby every day) deserve a story presented in the media they can relate to, a story that reveals the truths and triumphs of infertility with real, raw emotion. So, that is exactly why I took the opportunity to pitch my memoir to Hollywood executives last month in Las Vegas. (*Read more about the day and what I said in my pitch here.)
Upon practicing my pitch to other hopeful authors, I got the positive feedback that it sounds like a great idea and would be well suited for a television movie on Lifetime, The Hallmark Channel or Oprah’s Own Network. Most executives agreed. After looking at the score sheets from the day, I found that most also checked off that my pitch was effective and marketable. But sadly, they all checked that the book/idea wasn’t right for their company at this time.
The trip wasn’t a total loss. It was an amazing experience to be a part of a dream that was shared with 150 other authors. And since I believe my story is bigger than me, and can really help others, I was grateful for the opportunity to share that. I am adding a picture here of the best score sheet I received. This executive actually thought it could be a feature film and could work with the right people involved! So, if you or someone you know are “the right people” and you’re interested in my memoir, please contact me! 
There are some positive things happening on TV that have impressed me when it comes to infertility. The Pampers commercial “For Every Little Miracle” (that I blogged about here) gets a two thumbs up from me. There definitely needs to be more ads out there like this one. Also reality shows like Giuliana and Bill have let us in to some private moments this couple shared through their struggle and I think that’s certainly a step in the right direction when it comes to infertility in the media. By the way, in case you haven’t heard, they are now pregnant (through a gestational carrier). (Check out their story on the Today show!) Congratulations to them!
In the end, I’m looking forward to the day when infertility becomes as mainstream in the media as other diseases like breast cancer and heart disease. With proper coverage and a deep look at real stories, a support system can form, an understanding can be reached, and a stigma can be minimized. Infertility must stop being ignored!
Ordinary Miracles Giveaway!
In honor of NIAW, I am giving away an autographed copy of my new memoir Ordinary Miracles!
To me, an ordinary miracle is something that happens miraculously but is quite an ordinary occurrence, like how every snowflake is unique or how each of us have different fingerprints. My children, I believe, fall under this category because when you look at them, they seem quite ordinary to you. But, the truth is, they are miracles. It took three IVF cycles to have my daughter, and another three to have my twins. They are naturally my husband and I, but they battled a petri dish environment in the first precarious stages of life and my twins were even frozen for six months before implanting inside my uterus. So, that is why I call them my ordinary miracles and that is where the title of my memoir comes from.
Now, I want to know, what does an ordinary miracle mean to you? All you have to do is to tell me in a comment below of what an ordinary miracle means to you. That is the main entry!
By the way, if you have a blog and you’d like to review Ordinary Miracles, I can get you a free copy! Go to the book’s website for more information on the book and contact me through my email: mymiracles77@gmail.com.
*This giveawy will close on April 30th, 2012.*
Again, for the main entry: Tell me what an ordinary miracle means to you.
For extra entries: (Each of these must be represented in a comment by itself to be considered an extra entry.)
- Follow this blog
- Follow me on Twitter at @stressfreeIF
- Tweet this giveaway with a link back here. You can do this once per day. Copy and paste this: Win a copy of the new memoir by @stressfreeIF: Ordinary Miracles during #niaw! http://j.mp/I2xRyS
- Like this blog on Facebook
- Like Ordinary Miracles on Facebook
- Write about this giveaway on your FB wall.
- Blog about the giveaway! (*This will count as 2 extra entries, and I will even add an additional entry if you mention that I will give a copy to those who’d like to review it on their blog in your post! In separate comments below, 1) write the url 2) tell me you blogged and 3) tell me you mentioned the review part in your post.)
*That’s it! Good luck!
Proud Moment
Today, I was able to do what I’ve been waiting to do for a very long time; hold my book in my hand for the very first time. They shipped it to me and you can find it here at the iUniverse bookstore. (It will be available soon as a e-book as well!)
I have always considered myself an open book, and now that a part of my life is a book, (a very real, raw, emotional part of my life), I feel uninhibited. And I suppose, it is very freeing since infertility was an extremely inhibited experience. It took hold of everything in my life for roughly three years. And now, to be able to share that with others with the hope that it can bring some inspiration, some understanding, some acceptance, and some empathy; it makes it all worth it. It gives my infertility purpose…and that is really amazing!
Thank you for being on this journey with me! You can check out my book and give me a shout back to tell me what you think.
I went, I saw, I pitched!
OK, so I am going to take a break from today’s Blog Love post to bring you some exciting news! I got the amazing opportunity recently to pitch my memoir, Ordinary Miracles (which should be available to buy in just a few short weeks) to Hollywood executives that represent production companies so my story can be seen on screen. This Pitch-Fest was in Las Vegas!
So, on March 24th, I woke up to this sunrise and knew it was going to be a paramount day!
the sun rising out of my hotel room
I was a bundle of nerves but my pitch (which needed to be under 2 minutes in length) has been practiced and memorized for a while now. Here it is:
What if the one thing you most desire is the one thing you can’t have? Ordinary Miracles is the true story of how my husband and I found out we were infertile and then thrown onto the crazy roller coaster ride known as IVF. We did 6 IVF procedures where we had 2 negative outcomes, 2 early miscarriages and finally 2 miracle pregnancies. My daughter will be 5 next month. My boy/girl twins are 2 1/2. But through my experience, I also lost my mom. She passed on and has never met my children. Now motherless, I am trying to move on and live the life I always wanted, but once thought I could never have.
I tried to think of a movie out there that is like my story. But truthfully, I couldn’t think of one because infertility in the media is either glossed over (like in Juno), poked fun of (like in Baby Mama) and mostly presented in a satirical, comical, or stereotypical way. But the 7.3 million people in this country who are struggling to have a baby every day deserve more than that. They deserve a story they can relate to, a story that reveals the truths and triumphs of infertility with real, raw emotion. With my story, you can help make that happen for them and for the millions more who couldn’t imagine this emotional turmoil but most likely knows someone who has experienced it.”
And, well, I’m happy to say that I think it really resonated with quite a few of them. Many nodded in agreement and asked me questions which I was told was a really good sign they were interested. One pair said there’s been talk in Hollywood to do an infertility story for a while, (since it is such a relative topic) but there just hasn’t been a screen play written yet! So, now I wait and see…I will keep you posted as I learn more! It really was an awesome experience!
My Wish
wish pebbles--go on, take one!
Yes, I’m still here. I’ve just been insanely busy. But tonight, I wanted to let you know, as I am on the verge of my memoir becoming a reality for you to purchase and read, I have thought about all of you. Those who are reading, those who are struggling, those that need a voice…I am here. I am about to share my story with the world and although I have always considered myself an open book, I am feeling quite vulnerable. But, I am doing it for you, hoping that my story will help others in the process. And, I have a lot of exciting things to share and as they come, I will. I promise.
Tonight, I am leaving you with Rascal Flatts–My Wish. It has been a favorite of mine for a while. I think the lyrics really speak to the entire infertility community. So do pass it along. “My wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to. Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small…I hope you know somebody loves you.”
*And, since I’ve got a bit of Irish in me (through marriage), I thought I’d pass along some Good luck this week as St. Patrick’s Day be approachin’!
January ICLW Welcome!
Hello all! It’s one of my favorite times of the month because it’s ICLW time again. In case you don’t know about ICLW, check it out here. It’s also a great time for me here at Stress Free Infertility because I recently celebrated my 2 year Blogiversary and I’m very proud of how much this blog has grown in the last two years. And, I’m most excited about my memoir, Ordinary Miracles, which is nearly finished and will be out to the public within the next couple of months! And, in case you missed it in my last post, I was recently awarded Editor’s Choice recognition by my publishing company and I am so very honored!
Here’s a little bit about me in case this is your first time here. I went through 6 IVF cycles (3 fresh and 3 frozen) over a 3 year span and I now have an almost 5 year old daughter and 2 year old boy/girl twins. I teach 1st grade full time and I live in NY, on Long Island with my husband, my three miracles, and my boxer Toby. I decided to write this blog (and my memoir) to help others through their infertility journey. This blog is also on Facebook and Twitter (and I would LOVE some more followers and friends there!) I will also be creating a website for my book and keep you all posted on that as well.
I am now working on my next book which will be a collection of success stories, stress free techniques that worked, and advice from those who’ve been there. I usually post stories on Sunday (but I don’t have a new one to post today). If you’ve been successful and would like to share your story here and in my new book, go to Calling All Success Stories to get the Q & A format I use. If you’d like to read stories I’ve already featured, go to Success Stories.
It’s a new year, here’s a recycled post to keep you focused: Get Your Zzzzs! And, we’ve had some snow this past weekend here in NY. If you’re experiencing cold weather near you, here’s a recycled post about keeping warm: Hydrate Your Body, Warm Your Belly.
Thanks so much for stopping by!
Happy January ICLW!
Good Eggs ~ A Review
So I recently finished Good Eggs by Phoebe Potts. It was a very good memoir with a very interesting perspective. I’ve never read any graphic novels before so, being a writer myself, I was impressed with how the good old phrase “show, don’t tell” took on a whole new meaning throughout the story.
Phoebe paints a vivid tale of her life through carefully chosen words and drawings that had me nodding and empathizing through much of it. And, yet the whole book wasn’t completely about her infertility (which I expected) but there was a true coming of age storyline; a story of a woman trying to fit in, be accepted in this world through her art and her religion and ultimately find true happiness while battling depression. And although I loved many parts of her back story, I thought at times, it was a bit disjointed as she went back and forth between present and past.
The infertility was heartbreaking to not only read but watch. It was like a little movie playing out in front of me, a silent movie all too familiar. I too questioned ‘all the things I could have done wrong in the last month’ like on page xiv and wondered “where’s my baby?” as I sat in a shop surrounded by moms like on page xv. But the miscarriages and the negative outcomes she experienced…the pain was real and evident in each little drawing.
I was really glad for all the humor in the book! Phoebe added in lots of little tid-bits that were really funny like the thoughts of her cat Reuben and even her slipper. And just some of the thought bubbles in general were hilarious. I particularly found the Anatomy of a Fertility Clinic Waiting Room on page 98 to be really funny and yet oddly recognizable at the same time.
I also really loved all the sweet and tender moments like on page 142 after yet another negative result when she drew her husband and her in an embrace and the words “It’s in Jeff’s description to say the things I need to hear even if they are not true when the alternative is just too hard to take.” Those words rang so true.
I was honestly sad for Phoebe to read all the way to the end and not see her finally achieve success with her infertility but it was refreshing to read that in the end she was ‘full of hope’ as she light-heartedly began the discussion of adoption. I did really LOVE her analogy in her Afterword comparing her journey to her Hebrew ancestors -”suffering and celebrating.” I truly hope we can celebrate with Phoebe at some point in the future as she takes on a new story of motherhood.
Phoebe Pott’s book Good Eggs was nominated for The Best Book Award for The 2011 Resolve’s Night of Hope. If you haven’t voted yet, please do! She is in good company with a few other great choices including So Close by Tertia Albertyn (which I reviewed here). *You can also vote for the best blog while you’re there!
To look at what Phoebe’s been up to inlcuding other reviews go to her website. For a sneek peek into the book some more go here. Happy Reading!
‘Breaking the Silence”
A I await answers from agents I’ve queried about my memoir and continue to get the same response of “not for me,” I get increasingly frustrated at the stigma attached to infertility. Why is it that we have memoirs for cancer survivors, pink ribbons, go RED campaigns for heart disease, walk-a-thons, tel-a-thons and huge national fundraisers for various other causes out there but no body wants to talk about infertility or raise money or awareness?
Even though I’m not in the thick of my struggle anymore, my infertility is not behind me. I’m still trying to make time to advocate for this disease. And that’s why I will continue to strive to get my story out there to help others going through it and to work on other book ideas in the health genre focused on infertility. Of course, that’s also the reason I write this blog. I’m trying to prove that just because I may have been successful with my battle, there is still a fight to be fought. I am trying to break the silence and change the stigma.
I’m linking to an article I stumbled on recently. And even though much of the information isn’t eye-opening for many of us infertiles, it brings a smile to my face that a major magazine like Self even published this at all. It’s about ‘breaking the silence’ from the waiting room all the way to Congress and it’s worth the read!
Breaking the Silence
