family

Today, meet Alison! She blogs at A Baby I Pray. Read on for her inspiring story!

    1.  How long did you struggle through infertility? 

My husband had a vasectomy reversal in December 2006 and were told we should be pregnant by January 2007.  Needless to say that didn’t happen.  Prior to Charlie’s surgery I went through the gamut of testing to make sure there was nothing barring me from conceiving.  We started the IVF process in 2007 and had Luke on IVF cycle #5 in April of 2011.  I consider 2006 the start of our timeline when we started TTC. 

   2.  What did you go through (as far as treatments, different doctors, adoptions agencies, etc.)?

  My husband had two surgeries – reversal and sperm harvest, four fresh IVF cycles, one FET cycle, one chemical pregnancy (from FET). Pregnancy #1 with fresh cycle #2 ended in miscarriage at 10w, D&C #1 July 2009. Pregnancy #2 with fresh cycle #3 ended in miscarriage – belighted ovum discovered at 7w u/s, D&C #2 November 2009.  Genetic testing completed with D&C #2 revealed pregnancy #2 was a baby girl with trisomy #18 – “normal” chromosomal abnormality.Charlie & I both went through a battery of genetic testing to ensure there was nothing causing the repeat miscarriages, took some time off from December 2009 -June 2010, started fresh cycle #4 in July 2010.  With fresh cycle #2 our clinic was closed and we were transferred to a clinic out of state and almost 2hrs away MID CYCLE!!  Ugh!!  That was frustrating and scary and infuriating.  As it turned out we LOVED our new clinic and could do all the monitoring locally – the only travel we did was for egg retrieval and transfer (and acupuncture pre and post transfer). Our last cycle protocol was different than we had tried in the past and we had to pay 100% out of pocket.  We found out I was pregnant on a HPT I just couldn’t wait to take and it came out positive, and did the next day and the next until my beta on August 26th.  We found out we had a healthy baby boy just before Christmas and Luke Alan VanDerburgh was born April 27, 2011 at 8:24 p.m.  YYYAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

   3.  How did you handle disappointments through your cycles (natural and otherwise) or months of waiting?

  Just as we were starting the IVF process I was unexpectedly laid off from work.  School budget cuts eliminated my position as the Director of School Nutrition in the school district I was working for – it was a blessing in disguise because the only thing I needed to focus on was the IVF process.  We decided as a couple that I would not look for employment during this time.  Also as a couple we did some marriage counselling to help us work through the struggles of the process.  I also worked individually with a therapist to help me relieve stress of the process.  Through the first cycle I started my blog to help journal the process and try to connect with others going through the same thing – no one in my personal life could really understand infertility let alone the IVF process.  My husband and I also worked with our pastor and relied on our faith to deepen our relationship with each other and our higher power – also it helped to let go of the need for control you want to have throughout this process.

    4.  What were the ‘stress-free’ techniques that you tried that helped you get through the cycle or time (yoga, meditation, acupuncture, support through family, friends & on-line, etc.)? 

Oh my goodness, I feel like I have tried everything, lol    As I stated above, Charlie & I worked together and individually with therapists (a HUGE help), I have struggled with depression and anxiety throughout my 20′s. I wanted more than medication so I took a class (for lack of a better term) on Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction and Way Through Depression & Anxiety – this was AMAZING and I would recommend it to anyone regardless of history of depression/anxiety. Through that class I learned how to practice meditation and still practice to this day.I went to polarity therapy and worked with an ayurvedic practitioner for health and well-being and herbal support. I sought out an acupuncture practice that worked with infertility patients – this was/is amazing and if you find a practitioner who really studied and understands infertility it is invaluable. I took yoga from an instructor that was also a polarity therapist – focused more on the mind-body-spirit relationships/connection rather than fitness only and I loved every minute of it! I found family was only so helpful as some aren’t, nor really want to be educated about reproduction much less infertility.I found that my blog was a way to keep those family members who really were interested in the process but didn’t “want to intrude” by asking me how things were going or just to keep them involved without calling me daily, my friends were AMAZING and I am so glad I had each of them surrounding me with love through this.  I did join ivillage’s IVF group but I found it really ramped up my anxiety – sometimes there is just too much info/opinions out there.  I don’t feel the group was negative in any way just that it wasn’t a good fit for me personally.  And other IVF world bloggers were an AMAZING support, reading other success stories or other stories/experiences that were mirroring mine were tremendously helpful.

   5.  If you could give advice for couples going through infertility now, what would it be? 

 1) Be kind to yourself and your spouse.  2) Therapy is a tremendous tool – use it and open your mind. 3) OPEN YOUR MIND!!  What you traditionally thought you’d never try might just be something you enjoy or find helpful to your well being.  4)  Faith in a higher power will help you surrender the need to control every treatment, procedure, result, etc. – faith in a higher power through whatever religion or combination of religions you choose!  I am a christian by upbringing (and choice) but also feel a very strong connection to Buddhism – I take what I connect with from whatever religion and work it into my life.  5)  Ask for help from whomever you feel may be able to help you – financially, emotionally, spiritually – friends, family, community.