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Virtual Friends Blog Love!

  So the topic this week is Virtual Friends. So what makes a great virtual friend? Well, in my opinion, he/she supports you in every way they can. Perhaps they read and comment often on your blog, or link back to you in their posts, or retweet your tweets.  Maybe they are on Facebook giving you encouragement, or often wishing you luck on Twitter or they are always there for you in the message boards you frequent (which is where I had many virtual friends through my journey). Ultimately they are your cheerleader when you need it the most. There are many things a virtual friend does and perhaps, they don’t even know how much they are appreciated for the little things they do. Well, now’s your chance to tell them. This Friday, I’m having another link-up. Write a post about one or more of your best virtual friends sometime this week, tell them about it, and then link back here. And, SunnyMamma (a wonderful virtual friend who often retweets my posts) has a Sharing Hope link up, so if you are participating in that, you can do both this Friday by writing a post about how your virtual friend offers you hope in one way or another.

So, here’s my special Blog Love Virtual Friend Post for this week. It was extremely difficult to narrow it down to just 3! I am grateful for all of you! Truly!

   First up, I’m lovin’ Andrea from Life, Love & Pursuit of our Fairytale. She has been such a great friend supporting me on this blog. She was one of the first to subscribe to my RSS feed and religiously comments on my posts with such thoughtful and encouraging words. In fact, I recently gave her an award for being my top commenter! She has also offered to share her success story and write a guest blog post, hopefully coming soon. Thank you Andrea for being there for me! I appreciate it so much! ;-)

  Next up is Rebecca from The Road Less Traveled. Rebecca has also commented quite a bit on my blog with such kind hearted support. Also, she has shared her success story when she got pregnant, but sadly lost her daughter Lily. She now has her son Ian and I hope she will give us another success story when she can. Her blog posts are thoughtful (I love how she adds a quote or links to a song) and her strength is amazing! She is like a pillar of hope and encouragement! Thank you Rebecca!

  And last but not least is Keiko from Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed. She is someone who not only supports me through retweets and link-ups but she often features my posts in her Infertility Insights Daily e-newspaper! I also love how much she inspires me to be better and strive for more. She’s incredibly creative (have you seen her What IF? award winning video?) and she’s also a wonderful infertility advocate which is really quite admirable as she is still in the midst of her plight. Thank you Keiko for being such a strong voice in our community!

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Meet Alison!

Today, meet Alison! She blogs at A Baby I Pray. Read on for her inspiring story!

    1.  How long did you struggle through infertility? 

My husband had a vasectomy reversal in December 2006 and were told we should be pregnant by January 2007.  Needless to say that didn’t happen.  Prior to Charlie’s surgery I went through the gamut of testing to make sure there was nothing barring me from conceiving.  We started the IVF process in 2007 and had Luke on IVF cycle #5 in April of 2011.  I consider 2006 the start of our timeline when we started TTC. 

   2.  What did you go through (as far as treatments, different doctors, adoptions agencies, etc.)?

  My husband had two surgeries – reversal and sperm harvest, four fresh IVF cycles, one FET cycle, one chemical pregnancy (from FET). Pregnancy #1 with fresh cycle #2 ended in miscarriage at 10w, D&C #1 July 2009. Pregnancy #2 with fresh cycle #3 ended in miscarriage – belighted ovum discovered at 7w u/s, D&C #2 November 2009.  Genetic testing completed with D&C #2 revealed pregnancy #2 was a baby girl with trisomy #18 – “normal” chromosomal abnormality.Charlie & I both went through a battery of genetic testing to ensure there was nothing causing the repeat miscarriages, took some time off from December 2009 -June 2010, started fresh cycle #4 in July 2010.  With fresh cycle #2 our clinic was closed and we were transferred to a clinic out of state and almost 2hrs away MID CYCLE!!  Ugh!!  That was frustrating and scary and infuriating.  As it turned out we LOVED our new clinic and could do all the monitoring locally – the only travel we did was for egg retrieval and transfer (and acupuncture pre and post transfer). Our last cycle protocol was different than we had tried in the past and we had to pay 100% out of pocket.  We found out I was pregnant on a HPT I just couldn’t wait to take and it came out positive, and did the next day and the next until my beta on August 26th.  We found out we had a healthy baby boy just before Christmas and Luke Alan VanDerburgh was born April 27, 2011 at 8:24 p.m.  YYYAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

   3.  How did you handle disappointments through your cycles (natural and otherwise) or months of waiting?

  Just as we were starting the IVF process I was unexpectedly laid off from work.  School budget cuts eliminated my position as the Director of School Nutrition in the school district I was working for – it was a blessing in disguise because the only thing I needed to focus on was the IVF process.  We decided as a couple that I would not look for employment during this time.  Also as a couple we did some marriage counselling to help us work through the struggles of the process.  I also worked individually with a therapist to help me relieve stress of the process.  Through the first cycle I started my blog to help journal the process and try to connect with others going through the same thing – no one in my personal life could really understand infertility let alone the IVF process.  My husband and I also worked with our pastor and relied on our faith to deepen our relationship with each other and our higher power – also it helped to let go of the need for control you want to have throughout this process.

    4.  What were the ‘stress-free’ techniques that you tried that helped you get through the cycle or time (yoga, meditation, acupuncture, support through family, friends & on-line, etc.)? 

Oh my goodness, I feel like I have tried everything, lol  :-)   As I stated above, Charlie & I worked together and individually with therapists (a HUGE help), I have struggled with depression and anxiety throughout my 20′s. I wanted more than medication so I took a class (for lack of a better term) on Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction and Way Through Depression & Anxiety – this was AMAZING and I would recommend it to anyone regardless of history of depression/anxiety. Through that class I learned how to practice meditation and still practice to this day.I went to polarity therapy and worked with an ayurvedic practitioner for health and well-being and herbal support. I sought out an acupuncture practice that worked with infertility patients – this was/is amazing and if you find a practitioner who really studied and understands infertility it is invaluable. I took yoga from an instructor that was also a polarity therapist – focused more on the mind-body-spirit relationships/connection rather than fitness only and I loved every minute of it! I found family was only so helpful as some aren’t, nor really want to be educated about reproduction much less infertility.I found that my blog was a way to keep those family members who really were interested in the process but didn’t “want to intrude” by asking me how things were going or just to keep them involved without calling me daily, my friends were AMAZING and I am so glad I had each of them surrounding me with love through this.  I did join ivillage’s IVF group but I found it really ramped up my anxiety – sometimes there is just too much info/opinions out there.  I don’t feel the group was negative in any way just that it wasn’t a good fit for me personally.  And other IVF world bloggers were an AMAZING support, reading other success stories or other stories/experiences that were mirroring mine were tremendously helpful.

   5.  If you could give advice for couples going through infertility now, what would it be? 

 1) Be kind to yourself and your spouse.  2) Therapy is a tremendous tool – use it and open your mind. 3) OPEN YOUR MIND!!  What you traditionally thought you’d never try might just be something you enjoy or find helpful to your well being.  4)  Faith in a higher power will help you surrender the need to control every treatment, procedure, result, etc. – faith in a higher power through whatever religion or combination of religions you choose!  I am a christian by upbringing (and choice) but also feel a very strong connection to Buddhism – I take what I connect with from whatever religion and work it into my life.  5)  Ask for help from whomever you feel may be able to help you – financially, emotionally, spiritually – friends, family, community.  

       
 
Thank you Alison!
Alison is on Facebook as Alison Wilder VanDerburgh and you can also follow her blog to follow her journey!
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Bust a Myth!

National Infertility Awareness Week is coming soon! It starts on April 24th and ends April 30th. There are many ways to participate in this year’s theme: Bust a Myth! Go to this Resolve page to find out more and get prepared with blog posts, FB updates and tweets! I just got my myth button (*as you can see on my sidebar), shared my story with Resolve, added a Twibbon, and I will soon be working on some posts to bust some myths. Go check them out! ;-)

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Happy National Adoption Day!

   27542_147926081887150_6322_nIt’s National Adoption Day! And since I was adopted, this day is near and dear to my heart! For all those going through it, who have been successful with it, or hoping to get their feet wet in the process, here’s a link to some inspiring stories! Now, let’s celebrate! (You can also check out the website, and follow on Tw.i.tter and Fa.ce.bo.ok!)

Family Adoption Stories

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Meet Karin!

Today, Meet Karin! She is Founder and CEO of Fertility Planit (For people worldwide seeking to get pregnant and start a family.) Fertility Planit is also on Fa.ce.bo.ok and Tw.it.ter!) I encourage you to check out this growing social network where you can create a profile, share and search opinions on fertility products and connect with others. Read on for Karin’s incredible story and more about this great resource below!

FP KT Photo 21. How long did you struggle through infertility? I’m 39 now, an American living and working in the UK, and 18 weeks pregnant via known donor.

I first discovered I had fertility issues about 3 years ago when my then partner and I got pregnant. I was 36, and at 12 weeks we had a Nucchal scan and blood test, and my ratio was not great, it was about 1:89 chance that I might have a Downs pregnancy. I was advised to have a CVS scan, which is an uncomfortable test that is diagnostic as it samples the placenta. So I had one at about 14 weeks. Even though I felt sure the fetus was healthy and fine, it turned out she wasn’t. The call came about 3 days after the CVS scan and I was told that the fetus had Downs Syndrome (trisomy 21).  We elected to terminate the pregnancy upon hearing this news, and had a “medical termination,” which is apparently not a D&C or a D&E — in the UK it’s where the woman takes a pill and passes the pregnancy naturally, meaning she goes through labour and gives birth to a dead fetus. It is painful and emotionally draining. Over the next few days, more bits and pieces will pass too. The whole process was utterly traumatizing, and it took me about 6 months to be able to even talk about it.

2. What did you go through (as far as treatments, different doctors, adoptions agencies, etc.)?

So after the Downs Syndrome diagnosis and then the subsequent termination, my partner and I broke up. With my strong desire to become a mother and start a family, I went on a roller coaster ride of fertility treatments, discouraging diagnoses, blood tests, IVF, IUI — across the UK, the USA and Denmark. I took out loans and spent much of my savings on undergoing treatments, taking fertility drugs, and experiencing “fertility tourism” with treatments in Denmark, the UK and the USA. This meant spending almost all of my free time doing research, planning travel in different time zones, following up on medical paperwork and permissions being fax’d back and forth.

None of my considerable investment of time, money or personal energy lead to any positive results — each of my treatments failed. During the course of my 3 years of TTC I had a reconciliation with my former partner, and we got pregnant again — only to have a  miscarriage at 8 weeks.

Having reached the very end of my fertility treatment budget in the summer of 2010, I was single, not pregnant and despondent. I visited my friend in Berlin in July 2010 for my 39th birthday, and he generously offered, on the spot, to be my sperm donor. It just so happened that I was ovulating! I was stunned when 2 weeks later I felt exhausted and nauseous and took the test and lo and behold: ++++ results. I still view this as a miracle.

3. How did you handle disappointments through your cycles (natural and otherwise) or months of waiting?

While I was of course deeply disappointed each time the treatments did not work (2 x IVF and 4 x IUI and 2 failed pregnancies). I felt that I did not have the luxury of time to sit and grieve or ponder my disappointment for too long. What I felt was most important in my late 30s, was to give my quest everything I had with the fertility that was still left in me — I continued to save money, to reserve all of my holiday time from work, to juggle my stressful and demanding work schedule as a journalist with tests and trips overseas for more tests and consultations.

Over the course of these 3 years of seeking affordable treatments and finding a way to be treated as a single woman in Europe (believe it or not, lots of clinics across Europe elect to not treat single women) and balancing a full time job at the BBC with taking time off, and flying to other countries for treatments — I felt rather isolated. And frustrated! None of my friends in my small city in England could relate to what I was going through — they all tried to be supportive, as did my friends and family back in the USA, but no one was there who actually went through these experiences themselves.

I so wished for one easy to use, convenient, efficient, modern, international website for all of my fertility needs. I wanted to be able to log on with an anonymous screen name (if I felt like it), search by location or keyword for finding unbiased User reviews and submit my own reviews for fertility products and services I’ve tried and liked or hated — I wanted to do the same thing for  connecting with like minded friends, shopping for products, and see Ads for services/products that were specific to a region, and not ages away in some other part of the world.   

After much tossing and turning, I decided to create the site that I couldn’t find. It’s called Fertility Planit and we’ve just launched. Essentially, it’s a Fa.ce.bo.ok/Y.elp for the worldwide fertility community — members can sign in with a free, personal profile (using an anonymous screen name, if desired), or business profile, share views and reviews, connect with like minded friends, shop, advertise their services using self-serve advertising, all in one place. 

I found that channeling my frustration and isolation into a creative project — that would help and benefit me as well as the whole, global fertility community — was a fantastic, satisfying process and gave me something tangible, creative, productive and meaningful to work on during my quest to get pregnant. It helped me to take my considerable disappointment and negative energy and transform that into a positive life force which would give birth to a valuable resource to  help a worldwide community, if not produce a baby itself. I didn’t ever want another woman to be sitting by herself, overseas, alone, feeling isolated and alone in her quest to start a family.

Because I was able to transform my negative energy into positive energy — and shift my focus from my own worries and what was going wrong with me, to helping others — I’m convinced this shift in energy and focus had a profound effect on bringing my mind-body-spirit relationship into a healthy balance again. I found myself getting to a place where I’d be ok with whatever the outcome was of my efforts — that I knew I’d be fine and lead a good life either way.

4.  What were the ‘stress-free’ techniques that you tried that helped you get through the cycle or time (yoga, meditation, acupuncture, support through family, friends & on-line, etc.)?

I certainly read everything I could get my hands on — I changed my lifestyle and nutritional regimen to include as much organic produce as possible, I began cooking all of my own meals, making sure I adopted regular sleeping patterns, I started drinking much more water, getting much more exercise, I decided to give up alcohol consumption and caffeine, and tried to cut out as much sugar, refined carbohydrates and processed foods as possible. The book “The Fertility Diet” by British author Sarah Dobbyn became my go to book for information, support and ideas on how to optimize my fertility naturally.

I also started practicing meditation and more yoga, with the aim of putting myself into balance with mind-body-spirit synchronicity.

5. If you could give advice for couples going through infertility now, what would it be?

Reading Opinions about all manner of fertility services helps our community learn and make informed decisions. I sure wish I could have found more unbiased User reviews when I was looking for the right clinic — thankfully I got pretty lucky and had a positive experience, even though I didn’t get pregnant that way in the end.

My number one tip for coping with fertility issues would be: don’t isolate yourself. Reach out! Share views and reviews! Find and offer support!

 Social networks are an excellent way to find and offer support, learn from others’ experiences, and gain validation for your own journey from like minded people who truly understand.

 Fertility Planit is there for people worldwide who are seeking to get pregnant and start a family — to offer them a supportive, safe environment in which to process their fertility journey. Members may sign up with a free, anonymous profile, if they wish, to preserve privacy — and yet this still allows total openness and honesty.

 

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 Thanks so much Karin for not only your story but the work you do with your website!

Go check out Fertility Planit! ;-)

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Meet Courtney!

    It’s Success Story Sunday! If you’re here from ICLW, I strive to feature a new story every Sunday. If you or someone you know has been successful, please go here for more details. Thanks so much! ;-)

  Meet Courtney! She is on Facebook, blogs at The Secondary Chronicles, and vlogs at Our Journey to a Family of 4. She went through secondary infertility and is now pregnant with a boy due in November! Read on for her surprising story!

1. How long did you struggle through infertility? I am not your typical infertility story. I did not have to struggle for as long as some women, but either way the struggle still hurt. We tried for 21 cycles.

2. What did you go through (as far as treatments, different doctors, adoptions agencies, etc.) ?

  I had Secondary Infertility. We had our Daughter in November 2007. We didn’t try, nor did we prevent getting pregnant with her. We hadn’t been preventing for 2 years prior to getting pregnant, but didn’t think much of it because we were young and not really trying. She was a wonderful surprise and David and I were both over the moon excited to be having her. (I had always thought I would have trouble getting pregnant because my mom had a horrible time) So after she was born I naively thought “YAY! I will be able to get pregnant when we want and have the large family we always wanted!”

So when our daughter was Nine months old we decided to start trying for our second child. The first month went by and I was a little upset but not put out yet, because I knew it could take a couple months. After 6 months I was getting very depressed. I began looking it up and found that Secondary Infertility can be quite common…. who knew?? I sure didn’t. Month after month I got more and more upset. I mean what the heck is wrong??? I get a period every month!

In January I was finally able to start seeing a new OB/GYN to help me find out what was wrong. (before that I had tried all the At-Home remedies for TTC (none worked:/)) She was so amazing and started running tests immediately. My Husband had his Semen Analysis, which was a little abnormal. You can hear all about it here.  I had an ultrasound where she told  me I have a titled Uterus, my right ovary is more in the middle of my body instead of the right side, my ovaries are poly cystic, but none of these things were the problem. My lining was great, my progesterone was good (even though my luteal phase was a little short), and my cervical mucus looked good. 

I was beginning to think I was going to be one of those women who just wouldn’t know why. In February she told me to come back in on CD 3 of my next cycle and we would do an ultrasound then. That month I decided not to chart m BBT or take OPKs. We had sex about every other day around my usual ovulation time (cd 16 or so I thought) like always. The only things I changed was after sex I laid on my stomach instead of hiking my hips (because of the tilted uterus) and that month I really looked at myself and was not happy. I told myself I was going to be happier and stop acting so upset and depressed it just wasn’t me. 

On March 12, 2010 I decided to take a pregnancy test (I was 9dpo by my usual ovulation day) I didn’t think anything of it because I was so use to it being a BIG negative that when I walked back in the bathroom to look I almost passed out! It was Positive! I broke down in tears and called my husband (who was working out of town at the time). He thought something was wrong with me, I almost couldn’t get it out I was crying so hard. When he finally understood what I was saying he started crying too. After 21 cycles of trying we were finally PREGNANT!

3/4. How did you handle disappointments? What were the ‘stress-free’ techniques that you tried that helped you get through the cycle or time (yoga, meditation, acupuncture, support through family, friends & on-line, etc.)?

 In April of 09 I found the TTC community on YouTube and that group helped me out so much! At our one-year mark in August I decided to start making TTC Vlogs and the support I received was amazing! Then in October I started my Blog and found my Twitter community, which helped me even more. These ladies are the best and helped drag me out of the horrible depression I had fallen into.

I am now 22 weeks pregnant. Our SON is due November 23, just 10 days after our daughter’s 3rd birthday. He is growing perfectly and although I have more aches and pains, this pregnancy is going great. We are planning a VBAC and our OB is amazing and on board with us 100%.

5. If you could give advice for couples going through infertility now, what would it be?

Baby Dust and Sticky Vibes to all!   My Best advice to those going through infertility is to ignore all the negative people around you and the idiots who throw the “just relax” in your face. Focus on your spouse and the supportive friends and family in your life. If you don’t feel you have enough support get into a TTC community. YouTube, Twitter, and the Blogging communities are amazing and were a lifesaver for me. There are so many supportive women and men and there is always someone going through what you are going through or have gone through it. It always nice to have a “cycle buddy” to suffer your Two Week Wait with or go through injections with or IVF or IUI. These are great support systems!

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Please feel free to ask me any questions! You can follow our Journey on our Blog, Vlog, Twitter, or Facebook.

Thanks so much Courtney! I’m sure your daughter is so excited to be a big sister!

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Fertile Garden Giveaway!

  Good morning everyone and Happy ICLW! If you’re new here I am so happy you came by!  Please peruse my newly organized sidebar for a little of what’s been going on!

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Now onto the BIG excitement for the day! I am starting a giveaway courtesy of Fertile Garden “where hope helps things grow.” It’s an amazing shop of hand made fertility & pregnancy bracelets, fertility jewelry and inspiring art featured on Etsy and Shop Handmade! (The owner herself is going through infertility and rounding out an IVF cycle. She also tweets and blogs! So be sure to check those out!)

   I LOVE her jewelry because each piece uses high quality gemstones  “which have special metaphysical properties that are used to enhance fertility and sustain pregnancy.” Some gemstones used most often in Fertile Garden’s pieces are amethyst (which is said to “purify and transmute negativity, boost production of hormones and peace of mind, and give patience and calmness despite overwhelming odds“), moonstone (which ”promotes love, hope and fertility“) and rose quartz (which “are the beads of love and fertility, soothes the heart and promotes peace“). The jewelry is also adorned with charms that are unique fertile symbols like butterflies (“symbols of the soul“), elephants (“symbol of love and virility” said to “increase fertility luck“), and turtles (“symbol of fertility and vitality, known for patience and tenacity“).

  Fertile Garden would like to giveaway this beautiful necklace to one lucky reader!

il_430xN_158584317This beautiful antique bronze fertility necklace features a lovely pendant circle with 5 wire-wrapped moonstone dangles, resembling eggs in the nest, all watched over by two sweet and nurturing mother birds. Birds symbolize love, loyalty and good fortune.”

  To enter: Simply View the shop of items and leave a comment on this post about which piece you would most like to have. Please include your e-mail in your comment so I can contact you!

For extra entries: (each one can be counted!)

  1. Follow @FertileGarden on Twitter!
  2. Follow Fertile Garden’s Blog!
  3. Like Fertile Garden on Facebook!
  4. Follow my blog!
  5. Follow me on Twitter!
  6. Become a fan of my blog on Facebook!

The giveaway will end on  Wednesday, July 28th!

 That’s it!! Good luck!!

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RELAX?!?

  

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    OK, so I was caught up in a post recently from Busted Plumbing about an Infertile Cat Fight which involved a comment left on Naomi’s 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility‘s Face.book page. A woman who had gone through PCOS and over 2 years of TTC recently got pregnant and felt that ”the reason it happened was bcz i stopped thinkin about it.” Then a fight ensued as many women took offense to it and it went back and forth. (See the whole text here if you’re dying to read it all! And while you’re there go over to my page to become a fan! ;-) )

   Anyway, it got me thinking about how the whole “RELAX!” or “Just don’t think about it” comments and how it could relate to my blog. I am well aware that the title “Stress Free Infertility” can be considered an oxymoron. You may wonder how you could possibly be stress FREE through your infertility…and perhaps it may be construed as me telling you to RELAX and you will get pregnant.

   Many readers may be thinking that your infertility causes stress and stress could potentially be contributing to your infertility and it is a vicious cycle that you feel trapped in. Well, it is this very thinking that got me to create this blog.

   So rest assured that although I would never come right out and say it, I am not even implying for you to RELAX throughout my blog posts because this very comment would most probably cause more stress! But by reducing the stress you are under in the various ways presented here, you may have better results in getting pregnant (which is detailed in the article linked below).

   Ask yourself this, if you do something that helps with stress (meditating, reading, writing, listening to music, acupuncture, getting a massage, sleeping soundly,  etc.) don’t you feel better overall? That is my goal…to help you through this whole mess of infertility by feeling better. If you are able to achieve a pregnancy, then that is another wonderful side effect now isn’t it? ;-)

While writing this, I stumbled on an excellent article worth checking out.

Stress and Infertility

(Since I haven’t done a Fertility News post in a while, consider this a consolation prize!)

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Meet Cyndi!

Today, Meet Cyndi! She went through 8 years of TTC and infertility and now has adorable boy/girl twins! Read on for her unbelievable story!

cyndi1.    How long did you struggle through infertility?

I believe we set some sort of record here with eight years.  In 2000, eight years after having a vasectomy, my husband had a vasectomy reversal.  We had a preliminary test performed and everything seemed in order.  My cycles were regular and I had a miscarriage at 23, so we knew I could get pregnant.

2.    What did you go through (as far as treatments, different doctors, adoptions agencies, etc.)?

After a couple of years of not getting pregnant after the reversal, I repeatedly asked my gynecologist if something could be “wrong” with me.  He repeatedly told me that because my cycles were regular, I had been pregnant before (although, a miscarriage), and my husband had previously had a vasectomy that my husband was probably the reason we could not get pregnant.

Five more years quickly went by, during that time I tried to follow the advice of most and not think about getting pregnant and then it would happen.  So, I focused on work, school, and my stepdaughters.  In addition, I found out I have a hypothyroid problem, which also leads to infertility.  I thought once that diagnosis was made I would get pregnant when my “TSH” levels were correct.  Another couple of years went by and I still did not get pregnant.  Again at the suggestion of my doctor, we paid for my husband to go to a urologist, which again, did us no good.  He told my husband he was going to have to go to a center downtown and provide a sample.  My husband was going to have to take another day off work.  He had not made it by the time the next part of the story happens.

This is one of the best parts of our story.  My youngest stepdaughter moved in with us.  I was going to take her to the doctor because she was having a problem with ovarian cysts.  She wanted to go to a female gynecologist and I was going to a male.  In the interest of time, I decided I would change gynecologists and made us both appointments at the same time.

The doctor walked in and said, “You are not on birth control?”  I said, “No.” She said with a, “ Are you crazy!” sound to her voice, “Do you want to get pregnant?”  I said, “Yes.”  She then got into that at my age if I wanted to get pregnant I needed get to it.  I told her I would gladly do so, but so far everything I had tried had not worked.  She then referred me to Dr. V. Schnell.  During this time I found out that my oldest stepdaughter was pregnant.

Within a couple a weeks, we had more answers than we had in years.  My husband’s “count” was higher than some men that have never had a vasectomy.  After eight years of us believing that my husband was the reason I had not gotten pregnant, it was all turned around after a few tests.  I had endometriosis, fibroids, and was not ovulating.

I had a laparoscopy because of the endometriosis and fibroids.  As I was healing from my surgery, I found out my sister-in-law was pregnant.  I started to be surrounded by pregnant women; a couple of women at work were pregnant along with the couple of close family members I mentioned.  Even after trying all those years I never really noticed women being pregnant until I truly started the process of dealing with infertility.  I joked with my Mom that even her donkey was pregnant.  I had my hopes up after the laparoscopy, but it did not work.

Dr. Schnell suggested we do an intrauterine insemination (IUI).  She said she did not expect it would work and she was up front with that; however, it would help her gather more data for in vitro fertilization (IVF).  We did the IUI at the end of 2007.  I could not help myself, my hopes were up after the IUI.  During this time, I had a couple of friends going through the process as well.  One  was doing so based off me being so open about my situation.  She and her husband had been trying for over a year. When I told her what was going on with us, she decided they might need to look into their situation.  We had worked together and she had moved to a different position after we had discussed it.  I actually “ran into her” at the doctor’s office and we kept in touch again.  The other was a friend of my pregnant sister-in-law.

The IUI failed and I did my first IVF in January 2008, which also failed.  The doctor even mentioned trying again with donor eggs, and we did discuss trying that.  One of my friends did her IVF in February and it worked.  The other friend was in March and it worked.  I tried IVF again in April and it worked!

Just about everyone I know jokes about my math, because I am horrible at it.  Let us hope my babies got their father’s math gene.  The two friends that completed IVF at the same time I did had two eggs transferred and was successful with one baby.  We wanted twins, yes, you read that right, we wanted twins.  It had been such a long and hard road to get to this point and we wanted more than one child so they would have a close sibling. With my math because my friends had two transferred and had one baby I wanted to have four transferred and have twins.

My “HCG” level when they tested me the second time was actually four digits (over 4,000) whereas, most people would be in the hundreds.  That was our first indication that there was probably more than one, but we did not know how many more than one.  My work actually created a “pool” on how many babies I would have.  My math worked!  We have our beautiful, sweet, and smart boy/girl twins!

My husband wanted me to add a story that happened to him during the second IVF. The Thursday before my pregnancy test on Monday, there was a book fair at my husband’s office building, they never have anything he is interested in; but, he never fails to stop and take a look. This time he found two books that he had never seen before, he bought the books; but did not tell me until after the test. The books are titled: “The dangerous book for boys.” and “The daring book for girls.” From that point my husband felt certain that we were going to get our eight year wish of having boy girl twins.

3.    How did you handle disappointments through your cycles (natural and otherwise) or months of waiting.

Disappointments were hard and staying hopeful was just as hard.  I will admit that I bought more than my fair share of pregnancy tests over the eight years.  I would throw myself into the rest of my life that I found gratifying whether it be work, school, my marriage, my stepdaughters, or my family.  If I could not be a mother, I at least wanted to be the best of everything that I could be, employee, student, wife, stepmother, sister, and daughter.

4.    What were the ‘stress-free’ techniques that you tried that helped you get through the cycle or time (yoga, meditation, acupuncture, support through family, friends & on-line, etc.)

I did yoga and acupuncture.  My husband filled my mp3 player with “special” relaxing music for me to listen to during my IVF transfers.  I had a cousin that lived in Panama City and she was pregnant with her first (like I said even the donkey was pregnant) and surprisingly, reading her post about her successful pregnancy gave me hope to post about my own pregnancy someday.  I also made a wallpaper for my computer that said “My time is coming.”  Someone else might not know what that meant, but I did.

One night, my husband and I discussed what the nursery would look like.  I had my husband help me because he is so much more imaginative than me.  His participation in that also helped me feel that I was not dealing with the situation alone, he was there planning with me.

Part of my way of handling stress was to treat dealing with the infertility as another job.  It may sound cold, but that was my way of coping.  I tend to deal with things in a more logical than emotional way.  I did listen to my heart instead of my head regarding the second IVF; however, for the doctor appointments, shots, and things like that I addressed it as a job.  That was one of the main ways I coped with the stress.

Also, I watched the movie “The Secret” at least a couple of times which also helped with handling dissapointments.

5.    If you could give advice for couples going through infertility now, what would it be?

The main things I would suggest to couples going through infertility is to be sure that you have a doctor you are comfortable with and make sure both partners are checked, even if everything seems “normal” for one.

Do everything possible the first attempt, such as in my case the “glue” and Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI).  If the doctor says you cannot, question why not.

Keep a positive attitude!

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Thanks so much for sharing Cyndi! Your twins are adorable! ;-)

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National Infertility Awareness Week

   NIAW

    This week’s news is all about National Infertility Awareness Week which starts tomorrow, April 24th and ends on May 1st! Melissa Ford (the wonderful Stirrup Queen herself!) gives us this great article about the awareness week which is sponsored by Resolve (The National Infertility Association).  One great way to participate this week is to join  Project IF . Another way is to showcase the awareness on your Twitter and Facebook updates. Read the article and get involved! We can make people aware one blog post, one update at a time. ;-)

National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) and Project IF

If you’re here from ICLW, WELCOME!  Please go here for my most recent post or here for my first intro post!

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