adoption

A new success story! Yay! Meet Sharon! She blogs at I Believe in Miracles. Read on for her long & devastating but inspiring story! Also, check out my giveaway for a Lia Sophia bracelet in honor of National Infertility Survival Day.

1.       How long did you struggle through infertility?

Seven & a half years.

2.       What did you go through (as far as treatments, different doctors, adoptions agencies, etc.)?

Under the care of a gynaecologist, I had 4 naturally conceived pregnancies and 4 first trimester miscarriages. After my 3^rd miscarriage, we moved over to our first fertility specialist. Under his care I had one laparoscopy, where I had 2 orange size fibroids removed and diagnosed with a blocked right fallopian tube. After all the blood tests were completed we started trying timed, stimulated cycles, I had about 8 or 9 or these. One of which resulted in a pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage. We then moved onto an IVF using PGD. Of our 8 embryo’s, only 4 were of good enough quality to survive the PGD process. Of that 4, 2 were perfect genetically male embryo’s and 2 had Patau’s Syndrome (Trisomy 18). We transferred the two male embryo’s on day 5, both of them were A grade hatching blasts but the cycle was negative. We then attempted 3 IUI’s, all of which were negative followed again by another 2 IVF’s, one of which was cancelled due to zero fertilization and the second we transferred again 2 A Grade hatching blast embryo’s and again the cycle resulted in a BFN. Our RE. then started talking about using an egg donor and the possibility of surrogacy and it was then when we decided to pursue a second opinion.

We also attempted some alternative therapies including Chinese herbs, reflexology and acupuncture. I conceived my 6^th pregnancy this way but once again miscarried at around the 6 week mark.

 We moved to our new clinic were my new RE pointed out there were a number of standard tests which had not been done, including an HSG X-Ray, which was then performed.  The findings showed that what had previously been described as a blocked right fallopian tube, was in fact a Stage 3 Hydrosalpingus which was filled with pus and which most likely had been poisoning any pregnancy as the fluid was draining back into my uterus. He also diagnosed me with scar tissue and a uterine septum and lesions covering my entire pelvis, resulting in my bowl, bladder and uterus all being glued together and misplacing my one ovary, all of which was repaired during my second laparoscopy. Because of my previous history of naturally conceived pregnancies, my RE again suggested we try naturally, so we did a further 4 or 5 naturally timed cycles before once again moving back to IVF. My 4^th IVF was my dream IVF, I stimmed really well on the new protocol, which included Intralipid infusion, and produced 16 eggs, 15 of which fertilized and 14 of which grew beautifully to day 3. Unfortunately I developed stage 3 Ovarian Hperstimulation syndrome with my ovaries swollen to the size of oranges and free floating fluid in my abdomen and I was put on bed rest. 3 days after fertilization, when we were called in to the clinic and told that all 3 of the Dr’s had met and agreed that we had the best quality embryo’s that they’d seen in a very long time and that we should freeze 7 embryo’s on day 3 and grow the remaining 7 to day 5 for transfer. On day 5 we transferred 3 A grade embryo’s. Again, the cycle was a BFN. I sank into a very deep depression and we decided to take a few months off, just to give me a chance to heal mentally and emotionally.

 Five months later, I was ready to try an FET. We defrosted all 7 embryo’s and much to our surprise 3 survived the thaw and in such great shape they had managed to maintain their previously fresh quality. We transferred all 3 and a few days later, much to my dismay, I started spotting. I was crushed! Devastated. Beyond believing! The spotting only lasted a day and a few days later I started to have those familiar early pregnancy symptoms. My 7th pregnancy was confirmed a few days later. Beta no. 1 was 30. Beta no. 2 was 231 and then devastation… Beta no. 3 was 197. Once again, we prepared to deal with the fall out of my 7^th pregnancy loss. I started bleeding exactly at what should have been 6 weeks of pregnancy.

I told my husband then and there that I was done. That I was not prepared to be pregnant ever again. And it was then that we decided to pursue adoption as it had been something we had discussed previously. Two months later we started the profiling process. Two weeks later, we were contacted by our social worker informing us we’d been selected by a birth mother and we were to meet her that weekend. What followed was a whirlwind! We met our wonderful birth mother on the Saturday and on the Sunday our Social Worker called to say she was in labour and our daughter was born at 10h50 on the Sunday, exactly 2 weeks and 6 days since finalizing the screening and 8 week post our 7^th miscarriage.

3.       How did you handle disappointments through your cycles
(natural and otherwise) or months of waiting?

I drank a lot of wine in between cycles! J Nestled deep into a very close knit circle of friends I’d made through online forums and meetings at clinics. I trawled infertility support forums, gave advice, gave support and received advice and support in return. I started my blog (http://sharonannevanwyk.wordpress.com) a network of online buddies, spread out all over the world. I also found myself a really good therapist and leaned on a her lot during the very dark days. She spoke me off many a ledge, especially after my 6^th miscarriage when I was so dark and so depressed that I threatened suicide.

4.       What were the ‘stress-free’ techniques that you tried that helped you get through the cycle or time (yoga, meditation, acupuncture, support through family, friends & on-line, etc.)?

 I had regular monthly treats like manicures and pedicures, I enjoyed shopping (alot) and reminded myself that I could indulge in all kinds of goodies I wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford if I had a child. I had acupuncture and reflexology and went regularly with my close girlfriends for spa days.

5.       If you could give advice for couples going through infertility now, what would it be?

 Don’t emotionally over invest in one Dr, get a second opinion. A fresh set of eyes can often see something that could have been over looked. Discuss what you are and aren’t prepared to do in order to achieve your dream of parenthood so that you don’t get any surprises later on. Look at all your options – don’t limit your miracle.

And the one that may sound so rich coming from someone in my position, but if its something you want enough, don’t give up. Keep getting up, keep dusting yourself off, keep placing one foot in front of the other, keep moving forward, you will get there in the end and you just never know how close the end could be. I could never have dreamed that a mere 8 weeks after my 7^th miscarriage I’d become a mother!

“Everything will be alright in the end and if it’s not alright… Its not the end!”

Thanks so much Sharon! Check out her blog to follow her journey!