I just got an amazing opportunity! I am now writing a blog for Fertility Authority. If you’ve never been to this site, it’s an awesome place to get information, support, ask fertility questions, and get local fertility guides. Under their Community section, there are a few bloggers and I am now one of them! My blog is called Everyday Miracles. I will write about finding “everyday miracles” during your infertility journey; remembering to appreciate the wonders of the world around you because I truly believe that you have to enjoy the little things in life every day, even on the days that you feel you have no joy left. Don’t worry, I will still continue to blog here as well!
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So, on Wednesday, at the crack of dawn, I took a plane to Washington D.C. to attend Advocacy Day, brimming with excitement the entire flight to be a part of the day! I have always talked about how the government should get more involved with our plights, I even wrote about it in my memoir. Advocacy Day was my chance to actually get involved, walk the massive halls of our congressmen and speak to the people who help make change happen on Capital Hill.
When I came into the room, I was immediately in awe of how many people came, all for one purpose, all for one passion. However infertility effected each person, we were all on a mission. Perhaps we were speaking for ourselves, speaking for a family member, or for the entire community of 7.3 million who can’t afford IVF treatments or adoptions. We were brave, bold, and ready to get more support on the Family Act and the Adoption Tax Credit. I even had the pleasure of meeting infertility advocate Keiko Zoll who writes The Infertility Voice and Fran Meadows, author of The Truth Behind The Secret “Infertility.”
I met with my NY crew (joined by the amazing Risa Levine) where we discussed our meetings. Then, we walked to the Senate buildings to talk with the staff at Chuck Schumer’s office. I was proud of each and every one of us in that room. We spoke up and made sure she knew why infertility should not be ignored. Later, accompanied by Shelly Galvin, from Attain Fertility, we walked across the path in front of the Capital Building and headed to the buildings for our meetings with our NY congressmen. Some, we didn’t have a meeting with, but we made sure to stop at each office we were assigned and give them critical information on each bill.
Later, we met with a staffer at Kirsten Gillibrand’s office. On behalf of the group, and the entire infertility community, I thanked her for her sponsorship on the Family Act (an amazing piece of legislation that will help pay out of pocket expenses for IVF for those who really need it). We talked with her to find out what else we can do to get support. One of her answers: Write letters! And finally, I gave her a copy of my book to give to Senator Gillibrand as a special thank you with the hope that she will continue to be empowered by those effected with infertility.
Overall, it was an amazing day filled with pride to be an infertility advocate and an American. My only regret was not wearing shoes that were more broken in. There was so much walking, I actually had blisters on my feet at the end of the day. But it doesn’t compare to the blisters on many hearts that can’t afford infertility treatments or adoptions. So, I was out there for all of you. I was your voice. But now, you can make your own voice heard by calling and writing letters to your Senators and Representatives. Go to Resolve’s Activist Toolkit to learn more! One staff person told us there are over 4,000 bills and many aren’t even sponsored unless they hear from those who really care about it. So, do your part! Don’t ignore the power you have to make change!
Everyone says that infertility is a roller coaster. In fact, I specifically referenced IVF as a “crazy roller coaster ride” when I pitched Ordinary Miracles, my new memoir, to Hollywood executives. Well, here is my analogy (written for The Analogy Project).
Ever stand on line to get on a roller coaster? A ride that looks really fun, one everyone has been talking about? And then, as you trudge through the metal aisles and the line bends inside a tall structure, you realize the wait is a lot longer than you thought it would be. Your palms get sweaty, you get a little shaky, and the anxiety builds. You can’t see the ride or where it takes you but you can hear the screams through the walls. It terrifies you but still, you wait. You know it will be worth it in the end. When you finally get up to the front of the line, you are exhausted, mentally and physically. Now as you climb in, you put on your seat belt and wait some more. The car begins to take you into an intense labyrinth. You’re thrown from left to right, around this turn and that one. Suddenly, you’re thrust upside down and you feel like you’re going to vomit. Sometimes, you feel like your floating. You feel giddy inside, not only by how much fun the ride is, but how fun life can be. Then, with a few more twists and turns that aren’t what you expected, you come to the end of the ride with satisfaction that you made it through. It was scary, thrilling, and exhilarating all at the same time. But, was it worth it?
Well, when you’re riding the TTC roller coaster, it can be just as thrilling. But for some of us, the line to get on the ride is a lot longer than it is for others. You could also have several bumps that can take you off the line like not having enough money to ride. And, then the ride itself can be quite a story….
Here is a roller coaster to match each stage of IVF:
Preparation for IVF (the injection class, seminars, papers to sign, medicines to order, and all the blood-work) : Batman the Ride @ Six Flags ~ In this ride, the floor literally comes away and your feet are left dangling all around and even up-side down. When your feet are grounded in your life, your partnership/marriage, you’re happy. But starting an IVF cycle is like loosing that footing and it’s unsettling and frightening.
The suppression (usually the stage of Birth Control Pills and/or Lupronn injections): Batman and Robin The Chiller (*This ride is no longer at Six Flags in NJ.) This ride has a countdown that signals the car to shoot out of the tiny building and straight up while twisting you all around and inverting you, only to stop at the very top and then go back down on the same path in reverse! It can feel like you’re going backwards when you start taking the one pill you thought you’d never need while trying to have a baby. This ride was so scary and heart pounding. I remember feeling that and more when my husband started my first of many injections and the hormones coursed through my body.
The Stimming Phase (the time to inject hormones that stimulate follicles to grow, lots and lots of follicles): Big Thunder Mountain Railroad @ Disney World ~ this is a very fast moving train on a rickety track. It’s quite a bumpy ride which is exactly what stimming is like. You may not like each dip and turn, and when it’s over, you might feel a little sick to your stomach.
The Retrieval and Transfer (where they take your eggs, fertilize them and transfer the embryos back in): Space Mountain @ Disney World ~ This futuristic ride really takes you on quite a trip in the dark. You’re not sure of the turns, the tunnels, or where you’ll go next. Well, the ER and ET are each just as emotional but also so scientifically advanced, you may feel privileged to be a part of it.
Waiting for pregnancy results: Kingda Ka @ Six Flags in NJ ~ This ride goes from 0 to 128 mph in 3.5 seconds! And the scariest part is the waiting in line before you get propelled. You’re already strapped in the ride, not able to get off and you’re forced to stare at the people in the cars in front of you go as they scream their heads off toward the 90 degree climb. Yes, anxiety is quite heightened for this ride and I would say it is the best analogy for the 2WW after an IVF cycle.
Nitro Roller Coaster at Six Flags
Getting a positive pregnancy test (the finale): Nitro @ Six Flags in NJ ~ This ride has pretty steep cliffs (reaching 230 feet in the air). At the top, you actually feel weightless for a moment and it is an incredible feeling! This is exactly what it feels like to finally be pregnant after all the stress of an IVF cycle.
*Sadly, if you get different results, (and that has happened to me four times), you have to head back on that very long line and start all over again….
My best advice: Have a roller coaster buddy to share the experience with if you can (even if it’s a virtual friend!)
So, after finding out about The Analogy Project from Mel at Stirrup Queens, I asked my husband if he could give an analogy to what infertility is like, what would it be? Within minutes, he recollected a scene from the movie Three Amigos!
In this scene, Martin Short, Steve Martin, and Chevy Chase are riding horses in the very hot, dry desert. When they stop for drinks, Steve Martin’s canteen is empty. I’ll step in here and say this is like what all the women feel who’s arms are empty and we are so desperately looking for a baby to fill them. It’s a thirst we can’t seem to quench when we are infertile.
When Martin Short lifts his canteen, there’s nothing but sand getting dumped into his mouth. This to me represents everything that’s wrong with infertility. No matter how much we may want a baby and need it right at that moment, the wrong things happen; it’s the wrong timing, the wrong procedure, the wrong results. It feels like we are drowning in a sea of emotions and yet can’t reach the shore. We may even see a mirage and get fooled into happiness for a short while, but we could still be drowning in that sand before we get the water we need and desire.
My husband simply describes Steve Martin and Martin Short as “us”. Now, Chevy Chase on the other hand is “everyone else.” When Chevy Chase lifts his canteen, it’s filled with water and he drinks a huge amount of it. When you are fertile, there seems to be an abundance of babies, pregnancies, sperm, eggs, and it’s all in the right place, at the right time, and it’s satisfying and bountiful just as the water is to Chevy in that moment on the desert. But my husband says, the clincher is when he throws the canteen on the ground and more water pours out. He’s so cavalier about it, and doesn’t even realize that the other two are thirsty or need water at all. Chevy really does take that water for granted, just as the ease of fertility is taken for granted for so many. Then, as he puts on lip balm, further satisfying his needs, it suddenly dawns on him to share. I think that many fertiles around the world are like this. They are oblivious to the pain and emotional needs of an infertile friend or family member. They satisfy their own family needs and may do/say things right in front of an infertile that are spiteful, insensitive, or downright mean (even without meaning to be). Maybe after their babies are born, or in some cases even before, they see us look longingly at their babies and pregnant bellies as Steve Martin and Martin Short did in this scene looking for the water, then these fertiles may suddenly feel a bit of sympathy and a willingness to be there.
But I think the truth of the matter is, it is our fate. There will always be an abundance of water for some on the desert as there will always be an abundance of babies. But sadly, the opposite is also true. We may get empty canteens or sand filled ones before we ever see one spilling over with the water we crave. And some of us will never get our own water filled canteens, we may have to take some from another or watch it slip away on the desert floor. Having infertility is like needing something so badly that you feel like you would die without it, just like being thirsty in the desert. But, I do hope we all find our water in one way or another.
Today, I was able to do what I’ve been waiting to do for a very long time; hold my book in my hand for the very first time. They shipped it to me and you can find it here at the iUniverse bookstore. (It will be available soon as a e-book as well!)
I have always considered myself an open book, and now that a part of my life is a book, (a very real, raw, emotional part of my life), I feel uninhibited. And I suppose, it is very freeing since infertility was an extremely inhibited experience. It took hold of everything in my life for roughly three years. And now, to be able to share that with others with the hope that it can bring some inspiration, some understanding, some acceptance, and some empathy; it makes it all worth it. It gives my infertility purpose…and that is really amazing!
Thank you for being on this journey with me! You can check out my book and give me a shout back to tell me what you think.
OK, so I am going to take a break from today’s Blog Love post to bring you some exciting news! I got the amazing opportunity recently to pitch my memoir, Ordinary Miracles (which should be available to buy in just a few short weeks) to Hollywood executives that represent production companies so my story can be seen on screen. This Pitch-Fest was in Las Vegas!
So, on March 24th, I woke up to this sunrise and knew it was going to be a paramount day!
the sun rising out of my hotel room
I was a bundle of nerves but my pitch (which needed to be under 2 minutes in length) has been practiced and memorized for a while now. Here it is:
What if the one thing you most desire is the one thing you can’t have? Ordinary Miracles is the true story of how my husband and I found out we were infertile and then thrown onto the crazy roller coaster ride known as IVF. We did 6 IVF procedures where we had 2 negative outcomes, 2 early miscarriages and finally 2 miracle pregnancies. My daughter will be 5 next month. My boy/girl twins are 2 1/2. But through my experience, I also lost my mom. She passed on and has never met my children. Now motherless, I am trying to move on and live the life I always wanted, but once thought I could never have.
I tried to think of a movie out there that is like my story. But truthfully, I couldn’t think of one because infertility in the media is either glossed over (like in Juno), poked fun of (like in Baby Mama) and mostly presented in a satirical, comical, or stereotypical way. But the 7.3 million people in this country who are struggling to have a baby every day deserve more than that. They deserve a story they can relate to, a story that reveals the truths and triumphs of infertility with real, raw emotion. With my story, you can help make that happen for them and for the millions more who couldn’t imagine this emotional turmoil but most likely knows someone who has experienced it.”
And, well, I’m happy to say that I think it really resonated with quite a few of them. Many nodded in agreement and asked me questions which I was told was a really good sign they were interested. One pair said there’s been talk in Hollywood to do an infertility story for a while, (since it is such a relative topic) but there just hasn’t been a screen play written yet! So, now I wait and see…I will keep you posted as I learn more! It really was an awesome experience!
Hello all! It’s one of my favorite times of the month because it’s ICLW time again. In case you don’t know about ICLW, check it out here. It’s also a great time for me here at Stress Free Infertility because I recently celebrated my 2 year Blogiversary and I’m very proud of how much this blog has grown in the last two years. And, I’m most excited about my memoir, Ordinary Miracles, which is nearly finished and will be out to the public within the next couple of months! And, in case you missed it in my last post, I was recently awarded Editor’s Choice recognition by my publishing company and I am so very honored!
Here’s a little bit about me in case this is your first time here. I went through 6 IVF cycles (3 fresh and 3 frozen) over a 3 year span and I now have an almost 5 year old daughter and 2 year old boy/girl twins. I teach 1st grade full time and I live in NY, on Long Island with my husband, my three miracles, and my boxer Toby. I decided to write this blog (and my memoir) to help others through their infertility journey. This blog is also on Facebook and Twitter (and I would LOVE some more followers and friends there!) I will also be creating a website for my book and keep you all posted on that as well.
I am now working on my next book which will be a collection of success stories, stress free techniques that worked, and advice from those who’ve been there. I usually post stories on Sunday (but I don’t have a new one to post today). If you’ve been successful and would like to share your story here and in my new book, go to Calling All Success Stories to get the Q & A format I use. If you’d like to read stories I’ve already featured, go to Success Stories.
It’s a new year, here’s a recycled post to keep you focused: Get Your Zzzzs! And, we’ve had some snow this past weekend here in NY. If you’re experiencing cold weather near you, here’s a recycled post about keeping warm: Hydrate Your Body, Warm Your Belly.
Ok, so I know I promised a blog love post tonight. It’s been a while since I had one and I apologize. But, I have exciting news and an opportunity I just can’t ignore right now. I recently received Editor’s Choice recognition with my publishing company for my memoir which I was told only goes to about 5 or 6 authors out of 7,000 each year. WOW! I was really surprised and humbled to get that news! So, now I am in the running for the Rising Star program and there’s lots of questions I need to tackle and focus on. I will keep you all posted on this very amazing opportunity! Thanks for understanding!
Hello everone! I am so excited today because it is my 2 year blogaversary! That’s right, I’ve been writing here at Stress Free Infertility for 2 years now. So much has happened in the last 2 years, I wanted to share a bit with you.
In my life, my first IVF miracle is now 4 1/2 years old! She is so amazing and bright. I especially love how she hugs and kisses me daily and says how much she loves me! So precious. And my FET miracle twins, Mia and Logan are now 2 years old. When I first started writing this blog, they were only a couple months and boy were things a little hectic. Times are still a bit harried but there’s so much more activity from everyone around! They both just started saying “love you!” and it melts my heart each time! And in the last 2 years, I reached a personal goal of finishing my memoir that chronicles my journey through primary and secondary infertility! It is now in the final stages of being self published and I am so thrilled!
In the last 2 years on the Internet, I have met so many courageous men and women pouring out their hearts and persevering through the trials of infertility. I am honored to be apart of such a tenacious group whom are so supportive. I have also met so many professionals and groups whom help out this IF community. If this is your first time here through ICLW, check out my amazing list of blogs that has grown considerably in the last 2 years. I now have 246+ infertility blogs listed and 39 infertility resources/websites. But what is pretty amazing is the 152 infertility blogs that have been successful through IF. (Most of them at one time were once on my other list.) That in itself should give you some hope. If you’re not on any of my lists, let me know, and I will of course add you on!
Happy ICLW! And a very Happy Holiday to all!
Psst..check out my giveaway from InJewels if you haven’t yet entered! They are letting you choose your favorite piece!
So, I recently had the pleasure of an invite to see Godspell which opened on Broadway in NYC on Monday. It was originally an off-Broadway production from the 1970′s and has been revised and completely modernized with references to the Macarena, Facebook, Steve Jobs, and even Lindsay Lohan, among others.
First I want to mention how much I loved the intimate setting of the Circle in the Square Theatre. There really wasn’t a bad seat! And although seemingly low budget with very little props, and scenary, I really enjoyed how the cast used the entire theatre during the show (up and down the aisles, standing on top of the scaffolding staircase, etc.). I also really loved the placement of the guitar players among the audience. There was a musician just two rows in front of my husband and I. And I thought it was quite unique to have a stage that they manipulated with water and trampolines from underneath.
The songs were all upbeat, and the costumes were casual and a bit comedic, but there were some tender moments and really dramatic scenes that caught me by surprise (like the crucifixion). And, I was quite impressed with the vocal talent of the cast. Well done! All in all, I had a lot of fun watching Jesus and his apostles go through the teachings of the bible with a modern twist. We’re all going through infertility “Day by Day” and I know that faith is truly an important piece of that twisted and confusing puzzle. This is a feel good show that is sure to give you some stress free hours which is something I know you would all appreciate!
So, if you’re in the NY area, there is an exclusive discount I can offer you through this blog post. With the code, GSPRD719, you can get tickets as low as $79.50 (regular price $125). Here is a direct link to that discount:http://tinyurl.com/GodspellBloggerDiscountPrepare ye the way of the Lord!”
Also, there is an amazing Mexican restaurant with phenominal food right in the area that I absolutely recommend. It’s called Toloache. It’s a bit pricey, (like the $15 bowl of their specialty quacamole) but totally worth it!
In closing, here’s a great montage video I found from the show! Check it out!
Hello! I’m an IVF survivor, a mommy of 3 miracles, and an advocate for going through infertility as stress free as possible. I’m certainly not an expert; I had my own share of anxieties. But I have been there, and I know first hand how it felt going through infertility for my first child and then through secondary infertility to continue my family. My experiences have inspired me to write a memoir (that is now available) and start this blog. But, now I am inspired by all of you. Your patience, passion and perseverance are what drive me to continue writing and continue on the journey.
To read more, click the pages above! If you would like to contact me to share your story or for any questions you may have, e-mail me at mymiracles77@gmail.com Thanks so much for stopping by!
I just got an amazing opportunity! I am now writing a blog for Fertility Authority. If you’ve never been to this site, it’s an awesome place to get information, support, ask fertility questions, and get local fertility guides. Under their Community section, there are a few bloggers and I am now one of them! My blog is called Everyday Miracles. I will write about finding “everyday miracles” during your infertility journey; remembering to appreciate the wonders of the world around you because I truly believe that you have to enjoy the little things in life every day, even on the days that you feel you have no joy left. Don’t worry, I will still continue to blog here as well! 
So, after finding out about 
