Meet Jess!

  It’s Success Story Sunday and thankfully due to the time and dedication to several women wanting to share their story, I have another new one today and even stories lined up for the next couple of weeks!!   If you want to share your story, please follow the format of these questions and e-mail the answers plus (if you wouldn’t mind) a pic or 2 to sfinfertility[at]optimum[dot]net. Thank you!!

Today, Meet Jess! She blogs at A Greater Yes. Her journey was long and hard but has a happy ending. Read on for her wonderful story!

1. How long did you struggle through infertility?

My name is Jess and I have been married to my hubby for 12 years next month. I feel way too young to have been married this long!!! Hubby and I began ttc just a few months after we got married and like all naive newlyweds we were certain that it would only take a month. Two at the most. HA! I think that joke was on us!!

2. What did you go through (as far as treatments, different doctors, adoptions agencies, etc.) ?

Even before the year mark my impatient self jumped on the infertility roller coaster and began testing. I could list all of the tests that we both had but that would take you an hour to read. And let’s face it, it is just not that interesting!! But the results were b-a-d! ME: endo, mild PCOS, blocked tube (with good ovary) and damaged ovary (with blocked tube, go figure!). And if all of that wasn’t enough hubby started out with a low sperm count to slowly morph into a count of zero. Big fat goose egg!!!

So what’s a girl to do with poor quality eggs that can’t get through and no sperm?? You adopt! Or at least you attempt it. Two disastrous attempts later we are back at square one. So our next step was to try donor sperm. Guess what?? That didn’t work either. By this time we had been married 10 years and I was in my 30′s and my clock was ticking loudly!! We were down to our last hope, IVF with donor sperm and possibly donor egg. The thoughts of it made me squeamish. To spend that much money and still no guarantee of a baby?? We just couldn’t afford to do that and began thinking about maybe trying adoption again. We ended up doing the best of both worlds: Embryo Adoption! Not only would we adopt a child but I would have the opportunity to carry the baby. How awesome is that??

In June of 2009 we began our journey of embryo adoption. I had surgery in July and had to wait 3 months to heal and for the call for an embryo match. Two weeks before I was physically ready to begin we got “the call”. We accepted the embryos and things moved very quickly from there. On 12/12/09 we had two precious little embryos placed in my womb. Six days later I saw something I had never seen before: Two Pink Lines!!! Another 9 tests and 2 blood tests confirmed it: We were PREGNANT! Sadly, one of our little embies did not survive but the other one is a determined a little bugger. I am currently 33 weeks pregnant with an adopted little girl. I am still in shock in awe! After 11 years of trying I had honestly given up all hope. We are forever thankful for the couple that selflessly donated their precious little snowflakes to us.

That about catches you up to date. Right now we are waiting on our little girl and I am learning how to fit in with fertiles. In my heart I am still the infertile gal sitting on the sidelines. I doubt that I will ever be completely comfortable in the fertile world and honestly, I am not sure if I want to be. I have the heart of an infertile, born from the pain and sorrow that only fellow infertiles can ever understand. Finding a new normal is not easy!

3. How did you handle disappointments through your cycles (natural and otherwise) or months of waiting?

I developed a great support system that helped me a lot during these times. Online infertility forums as well as the blogging community provided friends that understood what I was going through and what I feeling at any given time. Without these friends I would not have had the strength to continue after so many disappointments.

4. What were the ‘stress-free’ techniques that you tried that helped you get through the cycle or time (yoga, meditation, acupuncture, support through family, friends & on-line, etc.)?

In the beginning of our infertility journey I made choices as though I was a going to be a mother soon: bought a mini-van, did not pursue further education (I was going to be a SAHM),  would not choose a job that consumed much of my time, etc. After several years I realized that I was wasting precious days wishing for a baby when I could be living my life in the present. I decided to do some things that I couldn’t have done if I had had children: Bought a sporty car, focused on a career, took cake decorating classes, etc. I lived in the present and it was wonderful! During this time I also decided to use my experiences to reach others. I helped start an infertility support group, became a moderator of an infertility forum and began blogging. This was very cathartic for me and helped me through the trying times. My faith in Christ was a huge help as well.

5. If you could give advice for couples going through infertility now, what would it be?

Don’t give up!!! After 11 years of infertility, unsuccessful treatments and failed adoptions I honestly had no hope of ever having a child to fill our home and arms. Yet the desire for a child was still so strong and I just could not give up hope completely. Also, do not isolate yourself. Allow loved ones and friends as well as online friends to support you. Reach out to others that are hurting. Often we feel like we are alone in the journey, yet there are many, many others hurting as well. We only need to find them.

Thanks so much Jess! Please go to her blog if you want to follow her journey into motherhood!