If you’re here from ICLW, Welcome!! I feature a success story every Sunday so if you or someone you know has been successful with infertility, I would love to hear from you! Answer these questions, add a picture or 2, and send them to sfinfertility[at]optimum[dot]net. If you’re still on your journey, my goal each week is for you to be inspired and discover someone you can relate to. I hope the stories warm your heart, give you some peace, and help you believe that success is entirely possible!
This week, meet Brandi! She blogs at Baby or Bust and just celebrated her very first Mother’s Day. Read on for her wonderful story.
1. How long did you struggle through infertility?
From the time we first started trying to conceive until our daughter’s birth was six years. Six incredibly long years! We tried for a year and a half before mentioning anything to our doctor. I did the BBT monitoring for three months and then we did a sperm analysis, identifying my husband as the culprit. That was in the spring of 2006, by July 2006 we had launched BabyOrBust.com, the first infertility fundraiser blog. Our goal was to use the site to be a resource for other couples, as well as help us raise the $20,000 we needed for IVF. In summer 2009 we were finally ready to take on our first IVF cycle. In April 2010, we welcomed our little girl, Paisley!
2. What did you go through (as far as treatments, different doctors, adoptions agencies, etc.)?
The earliest treatment was just monitoring my BBT for three months. After that my husband did a sperm analysis, from which we learned he basically has a natural vasectomy. After that it was a lot of waiting. We only had one doctor, who we think the world of and are so thankful to have found him. We were incredibly fortunate to only have to do one IVF cycle. Due to my husband’s condition he had to undergo the MESA procedure (a sperm retrieval surgery), and we had to do ICSI (in which each embryo is created by hand).
3. How did you handle disappointments through your cycles (natural and otherwise) or months of waiting?
The only disappointment we faced was just the six-year waiting game. We were so blessed to have our first and only IVF cycle work. What guided us from the time we found out about our IVF prognosis to the day our little girl was born was positivity, hope and humor. Without those we surely would have fallen apart. We took the time to appreciate what we DID have, not what we DIDN’T. Our upbeat attitude about the entire thing helped us keep our sanity, prevented us from going to “the dark place,” as I like to call it, and even greater helped us build an even stronger marriage. It sounds odd, but sometimes I think our infertility was one of the best things that ever happened to us. We’re better people because of it, we’ll be better parents because of it, we’re more patient, and we don’t let life’s pitfalls drag us down – we take them on!
4. What were the ‘stress-free’ techniques that you tried that helped you get through the cycle or time (yoga, meditation, acupuncture, support through family, friends & on-line, etc.)?
Writing on BabyOrBust.com was the biggest stress reducer for me. That site was, and still is, my refuge, my virtual therapist. I was able to let out every frustration, sadness, and even good moments. It helped me to connect with other woman and even men in our situation. I found so much relief in hearing from other people that our story helped them, and those connections were a constant reminder that we weren’t in this alone. My husband and I also communicated, a lot.
5. If you could give advice for couples going through infertility now, what would it be?
My advice is always the same – don’t give up hope, be positive, laugh about it, and be thankful for all that you do have in your life. You can’t get weighed down in what you don’t have, the finances, the stress, or even the jealousy or wanting – all of that surely has a negative impact on the outcome.
I tell younger couples like ourselves that one of the reasons I sometimes call our infertility a blessing in disguise is that my husband and I got six more years together, just the two of us, and that’s time we wouldn’t have gotten any other way. We loved every minute of it, and while having a child would have been amazing, she couldn’t have come at a better time. Through all of this I learned that things truly happen for a reason, and they come at their own time because of that reason.
Thank you so much Brandi! What an uplifting, positive perspective! How inspiring!
To follow Brandi’s journey into motherhood, and see more adorable pics of Paisley, don’t forget to check out her blog Baby or Bust!
I think it is wonderful you feature sucess stories. I bet it gives people suffering with IF hope.
Good luck with your journey!
Happy ICLW!(#64)