Today, Meet Cyndi! She went through 8 years of TTC and infertility and now has adorable boy/girl twins! Read on for her unbelievable story!
1. How long did you struggle through infertility?
I believe we set some sort of record here with eight years. In 2000, eight years after having a vasectomy, my husband had a vasectomy reversal. We had a preliminary test performed and everything seemed in order. My cycles were regular and I had a miscarriage at 23, so we knew I could get pregnant.
2. What did you go through (as far as treatments, different doctors, adoptions agencies, etc.)?
After a couple of years of not getting pregnant after the reversal, I repeatedly asked my gynecologist if something could be “wrong” with me. He repeatedly told me that because my cycles were regular, I had been pregnant before (although, a miscarriage), and my husband had previously had a vasectomy that my husband was probably the reason we could not get pregnant.
Five more years quickly went by, during that time I tried to follow the advice of most and not think about getting pregnant and then it would happen. So, I focused on work, school, and my stepdaughters. In addition, I found out I have a hypothyroid problem, which also leads to infertility. I thought once that diagnosis was made I would get pregnant when my “TSH” levels were correct. Another couple of years went by and I still did not get pregnant. Again at the suggestion of my doctor, we paid for my husband to go to a urologist, which again, did us no good. He told my husband he was going to have to go to a center downtown and provide a sample. My husband was going to have to take another day off work. He had not made it by the time the next part of the story happens.
This is one of the best parts of our story. My youngest stepdaughter moved in with us. I was going to take her to the doctor because she was having a problem with ovarian cysts. She wanted to go to a female gynecologist and I was going to a male. In the interest of time, I decided I would change gynecologists and made us both appointments at the same time.
The doctor walked in and said, “You are not on birth control?” I said, “No.” She said with a, “ Are you crazy!” sound to her voice, “Do you want to get pregnant?” I said, “Yes.” She then got into that at my age if I wanted to get pregnant I needed get to it. I told her I would gladly do so, but so far everything I had tried had not worked. She then referred me to Dr. V. Schnell. During this time I found out that my oldest stepdaughter was pregnant.
Within a couple a weeks, we had more answers than we had in years. My husband’s “count” was higher than some men that have never had a vasectomy. After eight years of us believing that my husband was the reason I had not gotten pregnant, it was all turned around after a few tests. I had endometriosis, fibroids, and was not ovulating.
I had a laparoscopy because of the endometriosis and fibroids. As I was healing from my surgery, I found out my sister-in-law was pregnant. I started to be surrounded by pregnant women; a couple of women at work were pregnant along with the couple of close family members I mentioned. Even after trying all those years I never really noticed women being pregnant until I truly started the process of dealing with infertility. I joked with my Mom that even her donkey was pregnant. I had my hopes up after the laparoscopy, but it did not work.
Dr. Schnell suggested we do an intrauterine insemination (IUI). She said she did not expect it would work and she was up front with that; however, it would help her gather more data for in vitro fertilization (IVF). We did the IUI at the end of 2007. I could not help myself, my hopes were up after the IUI. During this time, I had a couple of friends going through the process as well. One was doing so based off me being so open about my situation. She and her husband had been trying for over a year. When I told her what was going on with us, she decided they might need to look into their situation. We had worked together and she had moved to a different position after we had discussed it. I actually “ran into her” at the doctor’s office and we kept in touch again. The other was a friend of my pregnant sister-in-law.
The IUI failed and I did my first IVF in January 2008, which also failed. The doctor even mentioned trying again with donor eggs, and we did discuss trying that. One of my friends did her IVF in February and it worked. The other friend was in March and it worked. I tried IVF again in April and it worked!
Just about everyone I know jokes about my math, because I am horrible at it. Let us hope my babies got their father’s math gene. The two friends that completed IVF at the same time I did had two eggs transferred and was successful with one baby. We wanted twins, yes, you read that right, we wanted twins. It had been such a long and hard road to get to this point and we wanted more than one child so they would have a close sibling. With my math because my friends had two transferred and had one baby I wanted to have four transferred and have twins.
My “HCG” level when they tested me the second time was actually four digits (over 4,000) whereas, most people would be in the hundreds. That was our first indication that there was probably more than one, but we did not know how many more than one. My work actually created a “pool” on how many babies I would have. My math worked! We have our beautiful, sweet, and smart boy/girl twins!
My husband wanted me to add a story that happened to him during the second IVF. The Thursday before my pregnancy test on Monday, there was a book fair at my husband’s office building, they never have anything he is interested in; but, he never fails to stop and take a look. This time he found two books that he had never seen before, he bought the books; but did not tell me until after the test. The books are titled: “The dangerous book for boys.” and “The daring book for girls.” From that point my husband felt certain that we were going to get our eight year wish of having boy girl twins.
3. How did you handle disappointments through your cycles (natural and otherwise) or months of waiting.
Disappointments were hard and staying hopeful was just as hard. I will admit that I bought more than my fair share of pregnancy tests over the eight years. I would throw myself into the rest of my life that I found gratifying whether it be work, school, my marriage, my stepdaughters, or my family. If I could not be a mother, I at least wanted to be the best of everything that I could be, employee, student, wife, stepmother, sister, and daughter.
4. What were the ‘stress-free’ techniques that you tried that helped you get through the cycle or time (yoga, meditation, acupuncture, support through family, friends & on-line, etc.)
I did yoga and acupuncture. My husband filled my mp3 player with “special” relaxing music for me to listen to during my IVF transfers. I had a cousin that lived in Panama City and she was pregnant with her first (like I said even the donkey was pregnant) and surprisingly, reading her post about her successful pregnancy gave me hope to post about my own pregnancy someday. I also made a wallpaper for my computer that said “My time is coming.” Someone else might not know what that meant, but I did.
One night, my husband and I discussed what the nursery would look like. I had my husband help me because he is so much more imaginative than me. His participation in that also helped me feel that I was not dealing with the situation alone, he was there planning with me.
Part of my way of handling stress was to treat dealing with the infertility as another job. It may sound cold, but that was my way of coping. I tend to deal with things in a more logical than emotional way. I did listen to my heart instead of my head regarding the second IVF; however, for the doctor appointments, shots, and things like that I addressed it as a job. That was one of the main ways I coped with the stress.
Also, I watched the movie “The Secret” at least a couple of times which also helped with handling dissapointments.
5. If you could give advice for couples going through infertility now, what would it be?
The main things I would suggest to couples going through infertility is to be sure that you have a doctor you are comfortable with and make sure both partners are checked, even if everything seems “normal” for one.
Do everything possible the first attempt, such as in my case the “glue” and Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI). If the doctor says you cannot, question why not.
Keep a positive attitude!
Thanks so much for sharing Cyndi! Your twins are adorable! 
