Meet Rebecca!

  Meet Rebecca! She’s today’s inspiring success story. She blogs at: The Road Less Traveled. Thanks so much for sharing Rebecca!

1) How long did you struggle through infertility?Well I stopped taking BCP’s about two years ago. Little did we know at the time it would take a lot more than that for us to conceive! 

2) What did you go through (as far as treatments, different doctors, etc.)  I had been on BCP’s for many years, so eventually when I came off the pill & my cycles were a bit long & erratic we figured it was just my body adjusting to being of the pill. I tried charting my basal body temperature every morning looking for a pattern. Also, after TTC for about a year I decided to try acupuncture, while I did find it incredibly relaxing & had an amazing doctor it didn’t seem to do the trick. Finally my GYN said there was nothing more she could do for us & referred us to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). It was at this point that after further testing the RE informed us that in all likelihood our only option for conceiving a biological child is through IVF/ICSI. After much discussion about our options (including adoption) we made the decision to do genetic testing prior to starting IVF in an attempt to ensure that this would not be passed on to our children. After getting the go ahead that it would not we started our first round of IVF/ICSI this January 2010. 

3) How did you handle disappointments through your cycles (natural and otherwise).  I started blogging in January as both a way to keep close friends/family updated on our treatment, but also as a therapeutic release of sorts. Blogging has brought me into contact with other women going through similar circumstances; IF (infertility) can be such an isolating experience for couples; through blogging I’ve not only made new friends that know what I’m going through, but I’ve also been able to vent about the emotional highs & lows of IF treatment. This experience has also brought my husband & I even closer together & during the tough times we definitely leaned on each other, there were many tears & difficult days, but through it all our relationship has grown stronger & our love for each other deeper.

There are two disappointments that really stick out in my mind regarding this round of IVF; when I went in to the RE’s for my second ultrasound after starting stims the nurse was rather pessimistic in stating that I wasn’t responding well to the medication & she was concerned…my follicles were too small & my endometrial lining was too thin. Remember that a day can make a dramatic difference during IVF. Also we had really hoped to have enough embryos to freeze for future pregnancies, but following retrieval, we received the news that they retrieved 13 eggs, 10 of which were mature, but disappointingly only 3 fertilized. In the end 2 made it to implantation, we are thankful these little guys made it, but have had to accept that there were none left for freezing. 

4) What were the ‘stress-free’ techniques that you tried that helped you get through the cycle (yoga, meditation, acupuncture, support through family, friends & on-line, etc.) 

Well as I mentioned earlier I tried acupuncture for a while, although I was not doing acupuncture at the time of our IVF cycle. Mainly the support of friends, family, & the IF blogosphere. Also, I love to read & feel like I can handle any situation better with knowledge so I did a lot of reading & research on IF. A couple of the books I really enjoyed were Conquering Infertility by Dr. Alice Domar, Waiting for Daisy by Peggy Orenstein, &  Pregnant Pause by Carrie Friedman. Next, I’m planning to read The Belated Baby: A Guide to Parenting after Infertility by Kelly James-Enger & Jill Browning.

5) If you could give advice for couples going through infertility now, what would it be? So many couples hide that they’re struggling with IF for a variety of reasons, but if you put yourself out there & are open about your struggles you’d be shocked to find out how many people in your every day life have or are struggling with IF as well. Both my husband & I have been surprised to find out how many friends, co-workers, & acquaintances have also struggled with IF, if we wouldn’t have been open about our own difficulties we never would have found the support that was right in front of us through them.

Also a lot of people don’t understand IF, the emotions involved & insensitive, but well meaning comments they make, because they’re uneducated on the issue. Through blogging & talking openly about our difficulties I’ve helped others to understand where we’re coming from & how better to approach IF. Can’t expect others to understand where you’re coming from if you don’t tell them! I’m a social worker by trade so I believe strongly in communicating your feelings & being open, while I know this isn’t the right approach for everyone it has served me well.

Without a doubt though I would say that couples struggling with IF need to communicate openly with each other, there are so many decisions to make & ethical questions that you’ve probably never considered before…if nothing else it is vital to keep the communication between each other open. When we first heard the news that IVF was our only way to conceive we dismissed it as an option, it’s just not something we ever thought we would do, it just goes to show you never know how you’re going to respond until you are faced with a specific situation. You need to be a safe place for each other to talk about your fears & hopes regarding all that comes with IF. No matter what the reason for your IF struggle, do not place blame on your partner, remember that IF is a disease & just like any other disease, is something that is outside of their control.

Also through blogging openly about our struggles I’ve felt so empowered by the incredible women I’ve gotten to know; their support has been such a bright spot throughout this struggle, I cannot imagine having gone through all of this without this sisterhood of strong, amazing women!

Lastly, infertility & the treatment course you decide to take as a couple is an extremely personal decision. You may find there are people who don’t agree with your choices or think that what you’re doing is wrong. As we discovered, IVF can be a controversial decision for some, the important thing is that you follow your hearts & that you do what you believe is the right & ethical decision for you…don’t let others bring you down with their ignorance. 

Thankfully our first round of IVF/ICSI has brought us our first ever BFP! I am 6 weeks along as of tomorrow & am enjoying every minute of this pregnancy. We will have our first ultrasound this week to hopefully hear one or possibly two strong heartbeats! 

Update: Rebecca went into premature labor at 22 weeks 6 days and lost her Lillian Grace. She is in our thoughts and prayers.

2nd Update: Rebecca is now pregnant again! Yay!!

*Thanks again Rebecca! To follow her blog and lend some support, go to: The Road Less Traveled.